A Lack of Color
by ElleLaw
Summary: Alex Cabot's life begins to fall apart after her wife, Madeline, asks for a divorce and moves away taking their son. At the start of a custody battle, she meets someone she never imagined and her life takes a turn in a whole new direction.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay, this is not the HisBlitzLaw story…This is one of my own little creations and I could not wait to get started with it, so here it is earlier than expected. The HisBlitzLaw will be up soon though so keep an eye out. I love this story idea, so enjoy the start to the madness! As always, I love your feedback! :)**

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Alex sat on the stairs of her home watching her life fall apart in front of her eyes as she held her sleeping child in her arms. Her soon to be ex-wife, Madeline, was loading her SUV with fierce determination. The blonde woman wanted nothing more than to leave her and move out of this small town and back home to NYC faster than anything. Alex didn't know what to do anymore.

As much as Alex may have been confused the night she came home to find divorce papers waiting on the kitchen counter for her, she was even more distraught when she discovered Madeline's intentions to leave Vermont and move back to New York City. They'd left the city five years prior to move up here and start their lives. It was the only place their child called home. They'd built this house. Alex had built her practice here and so did Madeline. Although, now Madeline was done and taking George with her. How could this be?

"Please, I am begging you Maddy, please don't move. I am fine giving you the divorce if that's what you want, but please don't take our son from me." Alex begged in a whisper.

"Jesus, Alex you sound pathetic. I literally told you that I was cheating on you for months and want a divorce so I can marry that person and you are still begging me to stay." Madeline sighs loudly while throwing a bag over her shoulder.

Alex can feel her tears building up behind her eyes and desperately tries to blink them back not wanting to give her soon to be ex the satisfaction. "No, I don't want you to stay with me. I want you to stay in town so I can see our son and help you raise him. I want to be a part of his life Madeline. Why is that so hard for you to understand?"

"Because he isn't your son, Alex! He is my son. I gave birth to him. You just lived with us. Now I am marrying someone else, and I am finally getting out of this godforsaken one horse town you drug me to all those years ago and getting back to the city. You, meanwhile, will stay here I don't doubt it. You never do anything fun." The blonde huffed angrily.

"How can you say that? Are you seriously that much of a cold human being? Seriously, Madeline? All I have ever done is try to make you happy. I am sorry if we haven't been able to travel the world, but we have both been building businesses and we had a baby. You never seemed miserable until you took that case that caused you to travel back and forth to NYC over the last six months. Oh," Alex said softly, the knowledge of what had occurred sinking in. "You met a woman there, that's why you are adamant to move now."

Alex's words stopped Madeline at the door. Spinning on her heel, the blonde looked at Alex with a viciousness in her eyes as she spoke, "God, you are so stupid. I've been screwing a man Alex. I'm pregnant. I am marrying him. George deserves to be with his siblings. You should just be happy I have agreed to let you off with minimal child support and some visitation."

"I'd give you every penny I make if you'd let me see him everyday. I'll give you whatever you want if you let me see him more." Alex pleaded.

"Bring him to the car, Alexandra. I am ready to go." Madeline says firmly walking out into the cold misty fall morning.

Alex, brushed her sleeping toddlers brown curls from his eyes. He'd clearly gotten their donors curly dark hair, but had managed to get Madeline's green eyes. He was a beautiful little boy and this house would never feel the same without him. Every one of her happiest memories here contained him.

Kissing his little forehead, she stood despite her weak knees and slowly walked out the front door. Every fiber in her body fought her forward progression. She didn't want to put him in his seat and she absolutely did not want to see Madeline drive away with him. Taking one last deep breath, Alex pleaded again, "Madeline, please leave him with me while you go get settled in and I will bring him down this weekend. That way, you can get unpacked and settled and not have George underfoot the whole time. You're pregnant, it will be easier on you that way. You can rest at night."

Madeline seemed as if she were thinking the proposition over in her head. Shaking her head, the blonde replied, "No Alex, he needs to be with me right now. You need time to process, it won't be healthy for him to be here with you just yet without me. Load him in please."

The cold glimmer in her eyes told Alex all she needed to know. Madeline's answer had nothing to do with Alex being bad for George, and everything to do with Madeline wanting to hurt Alex. This was unbelievable. She didn't know how this whole mess could be happening.

Buckling her son in his car seat, the little two year old woke up. Looking at Alex with his mischievous green eyes the little boy smiled brightly and sleepily said, "Mommy."

"Hey baby, good morning." Alex replied softly choking back her tears. "How did you sleep?"

"Good," he giggled in response. Looking at Madeline, George said, "Mama, go drive?"

"Yes, Georgie. Mama and you are going for a drive. Say bye-bye to Alex now." Madeline sighed. This goodbye was taking longer than she would like, she had plans to be in the city by lunch time.

Alex seeing her wife's frustration couldn't help but roll her eyes. Smiling happily at George, she said, "Okay George, I love you all the way to the moon and back. You have fun with Mama and I will see you in two weeks baby." As she finished she gave him lots of hugs and kisses. "Okay sweet baby, I love you."

"Love you Mommy!" The little dark haired boy called back as Alex closed the door slowly.

Touching her hand to her sons through the window, Alex called back, "I love you too, George. Mommy loves you too. I will see you in two weeks, okay."

Seeing Madeline put the car in drive, Alex bit her lip to keep from crying as she waved goodbye. She was unable to stop her tears from spilling from her eyes, but she would at least try to keep it halfway together until George was out of sight. Watching them drive down the driveway, Alex could feel her heart breaking into a million pieces. Nothing could help her now.

As they pulled onto the main road and out of sight, Alex fell to the ground and cried for all it was worth. Her dog seeing her ran over and laid down beside her while she held on and continued to cry. Some while after, she managed to muster the strength to stand and make her way into the house.

Going straight upstairs and to her room, she stripped down to her underwear and climbed into bed. The rest was a bit of a blur. She was aware of getting up from time to time to get some water and use the restroom, but it wasn't until she heard Olivia, Amanda and Kim in the house that she was aware that any real length of time had passed.

Hearing her friends enter the master bedroom, she worked out a small greeting. "Okay, Doc, we brought you dinner and booze, so it's time to get up." Amanda blurted out jumping on the bed.

"Real tactful Rollins," Olivia chided.

Feeling a hand rub her shoulder, she heard Kim say, "We brought stuffed peppers for dinner and wine, Alex. Oh, and I brought some silly movies and sad movies whichever your up for...or we could go down to the basement and use Madeline's pictures for target practice..."

"Now, you are talking." Alex said with a weak smile as she sat up in bed. "I like that idea, but let's order a pizza and drink my beer instead. I need your help."

"With what?" Olivia asked cautiously. The mention of shooting pictures of Madeline seemed to perk her friend up a little too much.

"Helping me find the best damn divorce and family law attorney in the state of Vermont. I am going to fight for custody of George." Alex answered with a wild grin.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I am happy to hear that you all are enjoying this story so far. It is going to be very interesting to write, and I can't wait to see what you all think after this...PS- sorry if there are lots of typos, I was so excited when I finished it, that I couldn't wait to post it. If it's bad, I will revise it later!**

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"Kim," Alex calls from her office as she puts on her North Face jacket and grabs her bag.

"Yeah," Kim responds poking her head around the doorway.

"I am headed out now. Will you make sure the girls finish the closing checklist and lock up before leaving?" Alex says walking towards her office door.

Kim frowns at her boss and friend. "Yeah, I can no problem. Um, Alex when is your appointment?"

"In fifteen minutes why?"

"So, you are going to meet your new attorney in scrubs, a North Face jacket and Crocs? It didn't occur to you to maybe spruce up a little before hand?" Kim chides.

"Hey, you should remember who signs your paycheck." Alex jokes before seriously answering, "I know, I planned to leave earlier to go home and get cleaned up, but the Peterson surgery ran much longer than expected. That tumor was gnarly."

"Okay, well at least fix your makeup on the way and re-tie your ponytail." Kim replies with a frown.

"Oh my God, Kimberly you are such a girl." Alex says walking down the hall of her clinic to leave. "Okay, please make sure Melinda checks all the vitals of the treatment room patients before leaving."

"You got it Captain oh Captain."

Turning around to face her friend while she opens the door, Alex rolls her eyes, "You are such a smart ass."

"It's what makes you love me." Kim laughs. Watching her friend walk to her black Range Rover, Kim says a silent prayer for Alex to get some good news today. She knows her friend is taking this divorce a lot harder than she is letting on.

Pulling up to her new attorney's office, Alex quickly fixed her makeup. She knew she'd lucked out finding her new attorney. The woman came highly recommended and evidently use to be a Federal Prosecutor. Evidently, she'd decided to move to Vermont and start a family law practice after working a grisly drug cartel case.

Climbing out of the car, Alex didn't know exactly what to expect. Walking into the office, she told the receptionist who she was and sat down. Five minutes later the door to the office opened and out walked a very loud very southern brunette. Who on earth had Alex come to for help?

The woman walked straight over to Alex and held out her hand, "Dr. Cabot, I am Abbie Carmichael."

"Nice to meet you, Ms. Carmichael." Alex said shaking her attorney's hand.

"Please, call me Abbie. Why don't you come on into my office and we will go over my plan for your case." Abbie replied in her warm southern voice.

Alex stood and followed the woman into her office. Sitting in the chair opposite the woman's desk, Alex looked over all the diplomas and awards covering the walls along with other pieces of decoration. It was clear from the attorney's very loudly decorated office that she was Texan and proud of it.

"Standing in front of her chair, Abbie asks, "Would you like a drink or anything before we get started?"

Alex lets out a puff of air and leans her head back, with a sly laugh in her voice she asks, "I don't suppose you have bourbon do you?"

"Do you drink a lot Alex?" Abbie asks fiddling through her desk drawer.

Suddenly becoming a little defensive, Alex snaps her head forward and spits out, "Only since my whore of a wife drove off with our child."

Abbie gives the younger woman a stern look, as she pulls the bottle of Wild Turkey from her desk along with two solo cups. "Relax Cabot, I am just asking a question. Although, if a judge asks you that question I recommend saying, 'only once or twice a week and never when my child's awake.'"

"Oh, okay," Alex says softly accepting the cup of bourbon. "Thank you."

"No problem, after my day I needed a drink. Okay, so I have reviewed your case and the settlement in which you soon-to-be ex so nicely drew up for us, and to put it nice and sweet, she's bat shit crazy. You can fight this whole thing." Abbie assured leaning back in her chair.

"So, I can get sole custody?" Alex questioned.

"No, not a chance. She's George's biological mother and despite being a whorish bitch she has provided him with a stable home and he is in no way shape or form in harms way. So, no judge will take away her rights to parent. What you will get is generous visitation that has to be adhered to and she will have to provide the transportation since she is the one moving." Abbie relayed.

Alex nodded in understanding. The two women spoke for another thirty minutes and then Alex signed all the papers and paid the retainer. Step one was complete, now began the custody battle. Saying goodbye, Alex stepped back outside into the cool early evening air.

The sun was just starting to set. It was her favorite time in the fall because the light of the setting sun always lit up the mountains beautifully accenting all the colors of the turning leaves on the trees. Taking a deep breath of the fresh mountain air, Alex climbed into her SUV and unrolled the windows.

Turning on her favorite Tori Amos playlist, Alex headed home taking the scenic mountain route. Winding through the mountains, with the cool fall air rushing around her, and listening to her favorite artist, Alex finally felt a little less shattered. Looking at the trees as she drove, Alex noticed that they just didn't seem as colorful as they normally did at this time of the year.

Pulling into a scenic overview, Alex looked out over the mountains. She knew deep down they were as beautiful as ever, but life just didn't seem as enjoyable without her son. Normally, she would pick George up from daycare and drive this way home so they could enjoy the leaves, 'weefs' as he would say. Now, she was all alone. It just didn't seem fair.

Pulling out of the overview, she resumed her trek home. Reaching her final mile before her turn, she noticed a disheveled looking woman walking in the road. Slowing her approach Alex examined the mystery woman as she neared.

Alex knew instantly that she did not know this mystery woman. She would remember her red hair any day. The woman wore boots, jeans, a clearly bloody dirt covered gray shirt, and a leather jacket. Her red hair was messy and mixed with what Alex assumed to be dirt, blood, and leaves.

As Alex got close, she stopped her car and put it in park. The woman still walked forwards with her head down. She was clearly in shock or something, because their was a visible tremor in her hands. Opening the door, Alex stepped out into the cold and approached this mystery woman.

"Hi, my name is Alex. You look like you need help. Do you mind coming with me? I'd like to help you sit down for a moment so I can look you over." Alex said in her most calm and assuring voice.

At that moment, the woman looked up. Her face was covered in small cuts and scrapes. It too, was covered in blood and dirt, but through all that filth Alex could clearly make out the redhead's electrifying green eyes. She nodded and took Alex's hand, as Alex led her around to the back of the SUV.

Opening the tailgate, Alex had the woman sit down so she could quickly check her out. Pulling her emergency bag to her, Alex began cleaning the cuts and scrapes and looking for major wounds, as well as feeling the woman's stomach for any sign of internal bleeding.

"What's your name?" Alex asked trying to ease the redhead some while learning something about her.

"Casey," the woman answered.

"Hi, Casey. Casey, do you have a last name?" Alex replied.

"I don't know, I can't remember." Casey cried.

"That's okay Casey. Do you remember how you got this hurt?" Alex questioned.

"No," the redhead choked out as tears spilled down her cheeks.

Something about this woman tugged greatly at Alex's heart. Maybe it was because she was hurting too, or maybe it was that she needed someone to care for her right now and Alex needed someone to need her. Whatever it was, she couldn't quite out her finger on it.

Looking into the redhead's green eyes again, Alex said, "Casey, I need to get you to a hospital so you can get properly checked out. Okay?"

"No!" Casey cried out, "You can't. Please don't take me to the hospital. I don't know who I am, they'll start looking for me. Please."

Watching the begging redhead, Alex found herself oddly sympathetic to this strangers pleas. Before she knew what she was doing, she said, "Fine, climb in the passenger seat and I will take you to my clinic and check you out. But, I am warning you, one sign of internal bleeding or major injuries and I am calling 911, got it?"

Casey nodded and climbed into the car. Alex climbed into the drivers seat and continued on her way to her turn, but once there she headed back towards town and away from home.

The blonde doctor kept thinking, 'What am I doing with this woman? I should be taking her to the hospital.' Finally she asked, "Why are you worried about the hospital putting out a search for you?"

Casey trembled slightly at the question, "I don't know for sure, but I think I was in danger," she paused for a moment before looking directly at Alex and confessing, "I think I may have killed someone."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I am so in love with this story. I hope you all are enjoying it as much as me. ) And once again, thank you all for your reviews, they keep me motivated!**

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Alex's heart rate triples as the revelation of Casey's words sink into comprehension. Grasping her steering wheel tightly, she contemplates pulling over and questioning the redhead, however, she despite her concern of Casey's words Alex is more concerned about her physical state of health. The redhead doesn't look like much of a threat in her current state; instead she looks more like a traumatized and confused woman. Swallowing thickly, the blonde gains the ability to question her passenger further, "Why do you think you killed someone?"

She hears the redhead start to cry again, "I don't know. I am just so scared and every time I try to remember who I am and where I am and what I am doing...I just have flashes of memory."

The tone of the woman's voice and her overall demeanor lets Alex know that she is genuinely confused and scared. Alex's best guess was Casey was suffering from some form of amnesia. Alex didn't doubt that the redhead must have been in some form of an accident and suffering from head trauma, this was a point which greatly concerned Alex as she pulled into her clinic's office.

"Okay, we are here. Come on," Alex instructed stepping out of her car. She could hear the dogs in the back runs start to bark at the sound of her approach to the clinic. Hopefully, they wouldn't spook Casey.

Opening the door and turning off the alarm, Alex ushered Casey inside the building and relocked the door. "Follow me," Alex said leading the way down the back hall to the treatment room and turning on all the lights. "Sit on the table. I am going to get something's to clean up your wounds. You have a couple of cuts that look like they may need stitches, are you okay with that?"

Casey nodded yes, and did as instructed. Looking around the room and at the two dogs and one cat in the cages on the wall, Casey looked harder at Alex and the room trying to piece the correct words together. "You are a veterinarian?"

"Yes, this is my clinic." Alex began while preparing gauze to clean up Casey's visible wounds, "Okay, I have to get a clear view of all you injuries so this is what we are going to do. I am going to help you undress to your underwear, then I am going to clean visible wounds. Then, I am going to give you some clean scrubs of mine to wear and take you to my x-Ray lab and take some films to look for any signs of internal bleeding. I honestly think your worst wound is probably a concussion. Once I am finished with that we will assess. Okay?"

Casey just nodded a yes and let Alex start to help her undress. After carefully cleaning Casey and her wounds up and steri-stripping one cut on her face and one on her neck closed, Alex gave her the scrubs. While Casey changed, Alex checked the redhead's pockets for any forms of identification, but came up empty handed. Looking at her clothes Alex still had no better knowledge of who or were this mystery woman came from or who she belonged too.

Leading Casey to the x-Ray lab, Alex had her lay down on the table. After taking a few shots, Alex examined the films before returning to Casey. "Alright, you look good, so like I said, I think your worst injury is a concussion. I still think you should go to the hospital to have it checked out." Alex reiterated.

"Please no. My head barely hurts. It's just a dull ache, I promise," Casey whispers as she tears up again.

"Alright fine, against all better judgment I will take you home. So, where is home?" Alex questions. Alex watches, as the mystery woman drops her head again and uses the scrub sleeve to wipe her tears. "You don't know do you?" Alex asks, before saying, "Okay, before I make the craziest offer of my life, I need you to tell me what you see in these flashes."

Casey looked up at Alex. Alex could see the apprehension in the woman's eyes, but nonetheless she nodded her head and took a deep breath. Slowly letting it out, Casey began, "I see bits and pieces. There are people around, someone I think a man or boy shouting, I am so scared, I am afraid I am going to die, then there is a man dead on the floor before me with blood surrounding him, and I hear someone calling Casey and I know they are talking to me. That's it. That's all I remember."

Alex's heart breaks as she listens to Casey's description of her memories. She knows the woman feels troubled over her memories, but Alex doubts Casey actually killed someone. She figures the woman probably witnessed something terrible and for some reason her concussion has caused it to come forward first.

Touching Casey's knee, Alex reassures, "Casey, I don't think you killed anyone. I think you saw something terrible. We should contact the police and see if they can locate you."

"No! Please, Alex don't, please. What if I am scared for a reason? What if someone is trying to hurt me? Can you, can you please just give me some time. I just want to remember who I am first." Casey begs.

"Okay. You can come home with me until we can figure something out." Alex says as they walk back to the treatment room to clean up.

"Thank you," Casey whispers. Sitting on a stool, Casey watches the blonde clean up the room. Alex looks so sure in everything she does and in a way Casey finds it very comforting. By the time they are driving back to Alex's house, Casey finds herself super at ease and starting to become sleepy.

As they pull up in the drive to Alex's house, Casey examines the house in the night. She can only see what the outdoor lights are illuminating, but she can easily see that it is a two story wood home with a porch that wraps around it. It looks like a beautiful home. What she doesn't expect to see is the baby swing on the front porch. Turning around to look in the backseat she sees the empty carseat.

"Do you have a child?" Casey asks softly.

"Yes, a little boy. He is two." Alex answers with a faint smile.

Casey nods weakily as Alex parks the car. "Is he here?"

Opening her car door, Alex mumbles, "No, he is with his my soon-to-be ex-wife right now."

Climbing out of the car, Casey winces in pain. Within seconds Alex is by her side holding her up, "Casey, where are you hurting? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"Whoa, settle down, I'm okay. I am just really sore." Casey says through gritted teeth.

Alex nods in understanding, "Come on, I will draw you a bath. The warm water will help your muscles. I can get you some pajamas to wear tonight, and I will help you wash your hair. Then I will set you up in the guest room. I am going to have to wake you up throughout the night though to check you."

"Yeah, concussion, right." Casey said with a nod. Casey followed Alex inside and up the stairs. As Alex promised she ran Casey a bath and found her pajamas, then helped Casey into the bath. After washing Casey's hair, she left Casey to soak her sore muscles.

While Casey was in the tub, Alex walked into the guest room and pulled back the sheets. She turned on the lamp next to the loveseat and brought her book in with her favorite blanket. She planned to sit on the loveseat and read all night, that way she could watch over Casey and easily be able to check her.

Walking back to the bathroom, she found Casey standing and trying to step into her pajama bottoms. "Here, let me help," Alex said bending down and helping Casey step into the pants, before helping the redhead with her shirt.

"Thank you." Casey said with a husky tired voice.

"This way."

Following Alex into the guest bedroom, Casey let Alex help her into bed and tuck her in. Alex reminded her that she'd wake her in an hour, and then the blonde made herself comfortable on the loveseat. As Casey drifted off to sleep, she watched Alex reading.

Alex looked peaceful reading, but there was an obvious sadness in her eyes. Still the blonde had an unusually strong calming sense over Casey. Casey didn't mind, she greatly appreciated it right now. She felt safe and safe was good. For some reason, Casey felt like it was a feeling she'd been looking for before meeting Alex.

Alex watched the redhead through her peripheral vision while reading. She could tell Casey was watching her and oddly enough she felt okay with that. Alex knew she should probably be afraid of Casey considering her confession, but it was the exact opposite. She actually felt more calm and at peace with Casey around. It was nice to have her around, and it was nice to have someone to care for, especially now.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Okay, a couple of questions answered before the mayhem continues...Butterscotch - don't feel bad about not catching that Alex was a vet, I purposely wrote it to be confusing. ;)**

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Alex awoke to the sound of rain dancing across the window pane. Groggily waking, she was only half aware of the restless sleeping redhead in the bed nearby as she glanced at her wristwatch. She'd been asleep for four hours meaning Casey had slept to long. She wasn't sure of how or when she fell asleep.

Starting to stretch, Alex suddenly heard the redhead start to mumble and fret in her sleep. All she could make out was Casey mumbling what sounded like, "No, please..."

Getting up, Alex crossed the room and sat on the bed next to Casey. Rubbing her hand on Casey's back she whispered, "You're okay Casey, you're okay."

The redhead stopped mumbling, but her breathing quickened. Suddenly, she began to toss in the bed. Alex, not knowing what to do grabbed onto Casey and held her in her arms softly saying, "Casey, it's Alex, you're okay Casey, I promise you're okay."

Finally, Casey stilled in Alex's arms. Alex felt the redhead take a few deep breaths against her, before she wrapped her arms around her and began to cry. "I promise Casey you are safe. I have you. I won't let anything happen to you. I promise." Alex soothed.

"Thank you." Casey choked as she tucked her head into Alex's shoulder and slowly regained her breathing and composure.

The two women stayed that way until Alex was sure Casey was okay. Breaking apart, Alex smiled warmly at the redhead. "Why don't you stay here and relax. I will go fix us up something to eat for breakfast." Alex offered patting Casey's hand and standing.

Casey nodded and watched Alex leave the room. Hearing the blonde, walk down the stairs Casey let out a breath and began to process what she could remember of her dream. She couldn't remember much, mainly the mans body on the floor and her hands trembling, but the end of her dream seemed so clear.

She was kneeling on the ground and digging furiously. The cold dark earth between her fingers as she dug as fast as she could. Then she remembered patting the ground smooth again before waking. What did she bury and where did she bury it?

Sitting up slowly, Casey let her feet hang over the side of the bed as she assessed her state of being. Feeling steady enough, she stands and walks out of the room and downstairs. Finding her way to the kitchen she finds Alex busy fixing toast and eggs.

"You didn't have to come downstairs." Alex said noticing Casey, "I would have brought it up to you."

"I felt like stretching my legs." Casey said with a weak smile. In truth she didn't want to sit up in the bed plagued by the memories from her dream. They were just to much for her to think about right now.

Looking at the hutch standing against the wall in the kitchen, Casey see's family photos. Pictures of a smiling and laughing toddler, along with pictures of Alex and the boy with another woman. "Is this your wife and son?" Casey asked.

"That is my son yes, but the woman in those pictures doesn't deserve the title of wife." Alex said in a flat tone.

"Oh, I am sorry." Casey said softly.

Alex turned with the frying pan in hand, and scooped the eggs onto the plates she set at the kitchen island before setting the frying pan back down. Shaking her head with a chuckle in her voice, she looked at Casey and said, "Don't be. You had no way of knowing that she was a cheating whore that took our son and left me for a man. Oh, and I forgot to mention she's pregnant."

Casey sat at the island wide eyed before saying, "Really?"

"Yes, I am sorry to laugh and be so nonchalant about it. I just haven't fully processed it. It's just so crazy."

Casey smiled. "Crazy indeed. It sounds like she's a real bitch."

Laughing while holding the counter, Alex replied, "She is, kind of always was but I loved her anyway. I just don't understand how a person tells you they love you yet screws another person behind your back. How is that okay? What kind of person does that?" By the time she finished tears began falling down her cheeks.

As Alex started to cry, Casey stood and walked around the counter. Taking the blonde into her arms, Casey held her new friend tight while she cried. "It's not fair. I know I don't know her, but I can say without a doubt that she doesn't deserve your love. I would never treat a woman I love like that, if you love a woman you treat her like a queen."

Alex broke from Casey embrace and laughed again, "Casey."

"Yeah," Casey said softly, wondering what she'd said that was funny.

"Do you remember who you are?" Alex asked softly.

"No, why?"

"Because you just implied you like women." Alex whispered.

Now it was Casey's turn to laugh, "I guess I did. Well, I am glad I can remember the important things."

The two women laughed over the absurdity of the memory. Alex was happy to have a lighthearted moment and some laughter back in the house. She'd really missed the sound of happiness. She just hoped Casey could soon remember who she was completely, she knew it would bring the redhead the peace she needed.

Casey bit into the toast. After swallowing, she asked, "Could I get some coffee?"

"You like to drink coffee?" Alex asked pouring two cups.

"I do, I think. No, I say from the way my mouth is watering, I love it!" Casey laughed. Something's seemed easy to remember, but the big things seemed impossible. No matter how uneasy not knowing who she was made her feel she felt safe with Alex.

"So I have to go into work today for about two hours to check on some surgery patients. Will you be okay here by yourself?" Alex asked.

Casey nodded, "Yes, I think so. I might just nap."

"Okay, well I wrote down my cell number and have the portable phone right beside it, in case you need me." Alex said with a smile.

"Thank you, Alex, for everything." Casey said softly.

Alex smiled at the redhead, "It's absolutely no problem, Casey."

The two finished their breakfast with Casey asking Alex about her clinic and the patients she was checking in on. Alex was amused by Casey's interest and found it refreshing to talk to someone who was so interested in her work. She could tell the redhead was genuinely interested in what she was telling her from the way her eyes lit up as she answered. There was something so magical about Casey's eyes.

After cleaning up, Alex headed upstairs to get cleaned up and changed to go into the clinic. Coming back downstairs, Alex found Casey laying on the couch bundled up under a blanket reading a book she'd found on the bookshelf. "'The Giver,' interesting choice. Would you like me to build a fire for you before I head out?" Alex questioned.

Laying the book down on her chest, Casey smiled up at Alex. "It seemed like a good choice, a boy who doesn't really know or understand the world around him. As for the fire, I am good. I can make one later if I get cold." Casey said huskily from the couch.

"Sounds good. Have you read it before?" Alex asked putting on her jacket as she stood by the door.

"I think so, but I am not sure." Casey says with a sigh. "It just seems very familiar."

"It will all come back to you soon enough." Alex says picking up her keys. "By the way, I have a dog and she is supposed to come home tonight. I had to take blood from her yesterday to transfer into one of my patients and she needed constant supervision so she went home with my friend for the night. Are you okay with dogs?"

"Yeah, I love them. I just never had one because my mom was allergic to them." Casey replied. "I guess I remember something else...what kind of dog?"

"It's a Boxer, her name is Star. Great, well I will see you in a little while."

Casey smiled, "See you later."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sarcastic, me? No, I wasn't being sarcastic, overly excited though, is always a true possibility... Lol, I crack myself up sometimes. Anyway, on with the madness! Thank you for your patience and awesome reviews...life has been chaotic, but I am finally feeling better! Thank you all for hanging in there with me. :) As always, enjoy!**

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Alex drove up her road. Kim's warnings and concerns running thick through her mind as she navigated her way to her home. She'd told her friend about her about her new guest and then suffered the hour long speech as to why letting Casey stay was the worst idea ever. Everything was brought to her attention from her pending custody battle to Casey possibly being a serial killer. Most of her friends concerns were crazy and unbelievable, but Alex tactfully kept Casey's possible confession of killing someone to herself.

After suffering Kim's lecture she had to endure Melinda's which much to Alex's dismay had caused her to be an hour later getting home. She was ready to get home and check on Casey. At one point during her lecture, she'd managed to sneak off to the bathroom and phone the redhead on her home landline, but Casey didn't answer. Alex had left a message anyway hoping Casey would hear that she was going to be later than initially expected.

Pulling up her driveway, Star jumped up in the backseat of the SUV excited to be home after the night away. "You see your house Starbuck? That's right girl, we are home." Alex spoke sweetly to her dog.

Parking the Range Rover, Alex opened her door and then opened Star's letting the excited Boxer free to pounce around the yard. Instantly the dog found her favorite stick and preceded to bring it back to Alex to throw. Taking the stick in hand, Alex heard the front door open. Looking up she locked eyes with the smiling redhead.

Casey was wearing one of her sweaters a pair of jeans and some boots. "I hope you don't mind, I borrowed some more clothes and the boots. Even with the fire, it's gotten a lot colder since you left. I checked the weather report and they think we are in for the first cold front of the season." Casey seemed confident in her words, yet Alex could still see the confusion in her eyes.

"It doesn't bother me Casey. Feel free to borrow whatever you need. If you'd like I can take you into town tomorrow and we can go get you some stuff of your own if that makes you more comfortable." Alex offered before throwing the stick for the eager dog. "That crazy girl is Star."

"She's beautiful. Thank you for the offer for clothes Alex, but I have no way to repay you." Casey said sitting on the porch placing her head in her hands. "What should I do Alex? Should I go to the cops?"

"Do you want to go to the cops?"

"No, I am terrified. What if I have a reason to be so scared? I saw a dead body." Casey replied starting to shake.

Wrapping her arms tight around the redhead and resting her head atop hers, Alex soothed, "Don't worry about it Casey. We will work something out. You don't have to go to the cops, you can stay with me as long as you like, I will keep you safe."

The two women sat like that for a while watching Star play with her stick. After a bit of time, they finally decided to move inside and start planning dinner. Casey seemed to enjoy the dog's company greatly, and Star seemed to take to the redhead very quickly, sleeping at Casey's feet as she chopped vegetables for the salad. Everything seemed so much easier with Casey around.

Preparing the chicken for the oven, Alex asked, "Do you like to cook, Casey?"

"I think so, my gut instinct is coming from how calm I seem to feel right now though. It's a little unnerving not remembering the most simple things, but then remembering the oddest things, like my mom being allergic to dogs..." Casey replied softly.

"I can only imagine."

"You know, I can't even remember what she looks like...I wish I could remember everything."

Alex reached over the counter and lightly squeezed Casey's hand in sympathy. "You will in time, Casey. There is no rush from me. Let yourself heal. I just want you to know you are safe here." Letting go, Alex moved to put the chicken in the oven while continuing, "With that said, I did tell my friend's Kim and Melinda loosely about finding you today. I had to tell them because they have known me the longest and would have blown any cover story, so we needed them on our side. My plan in the meantime if you are game is to tell everyone that you are a close family friend from Chicago coming to stay for awhile. People here will think you were in some form of trouble there and not ask questions out of respect and your bruises will help to confirm those suspicions. If you want to do something work wise, you can

help out at my clinic. Star seems to love you, so that definitely means you are an animal person. She doesn't take to just anyone. You don't have to agree to any of this, Casey, I am just trying to offer you options."

Casey wiped the tears from her eyes that seemed to have formed there while Alex was talking, "Thank you, Alex. I don't know why you are being so kind to me, but I truly thank you and I promise once I figure myself out to repay you for your kindness."

Walking around the counter, and placing her hands on Casey's shoulders, Alex softly spoke, "You never have to repay me, Casey. You are helping me more than you could ever know."

The two stayed like that for a moment before breaking and continuing to cook. After a brief silence, Casey spoke, "Lowery."

"What?"

"I am going to need a last name. So how about, Lowery, Casey Lowery?" Casey asked nervously.

"Like Lois Lowery, The Giver, I like it. It's perfect. So, Casey Lowery it is then!" Alex said with a big smile.

Dinner passed with easy conversation about what Casey could expect working at the animal hospital. Alex discovered that Casey was very inquisitive and seemed to pick up on things easily. The more questions the redhead asked, and the more answers Alex provided, the more Casey's green eyes sparkled, and the more Alex found herself drawn into them.

They also discussed how George would be coming to visit in two weeks. Casey loved how animated Alex seemed to get when talking about her son. There was no doubt in the redheads mind that Alex loved her son. Casey found herself growing excited at the prospect of meeting the child, but also felt a deep heartache within her, one she couldn't explain.

"Casey? Are you okay? If meeting George makes you nervous or uncomfortable, I am sure I can arrange for you to stay somewhere else during that time." Alex assured.

Casey shook her head clear, "No, it's fine. I would love to meet him."

Alex could still see that Casey was shaken up a bit, "Casey, what is it?"

Casey looked at Alex. Her stormy blue eyes seemed as if they could answer all the mysteries of the world. "I don't know exactly. You were talking about George, and I am genuinely excited to see him and meet him, but then I just felt this overwhelming sadness."

Alex suddenly had a bad feeling, "I understand Casey. It's okay. Do you want to talk about it or anything?"

"There isn't exactly anything to talk about. I still don't remember anything. If I do, I will tell you, I promise." Casey assured as they finished their meals.

Later that night lying in bed, Alex found herself battling a case of insomnia thinking over how different life was with Madeline versus how life felt now. The whole evening had felt peaceful with Casey in the house. The whole house felt alive again thanks to Casey's presence, but their wasn't the same tension that Madeline had brought to it. Conversation flowed and Casey had a way of making Alex feel, feel almost a little lighter in her step. The more she was around the redhead the more she was finding herself drawn to her.

Hearing a whimper down the hallway, Alex knew Casey was having another nightmare. Star instantly perked up in the bed. "It's okay girl, it's just Casey. I've got her, you sleep." Alex soothed the boxer.

Walking down the hall to the guest room, Alex could hear Casey begin to fret more and more in her sleep. Suddenly the redhead yelled, "No! Please no, please listen to me." Then there was silence before the redhead screamed, "No!"

It was a blood curdling scream, the kind that made your stomach twist and let you know that the person screaming had witnessed something horrific, had felt a deep pain that no person should ever be made to feel. Alex instantly ran to Casey's beside and climbed in next to the now sobbing redhead. "Casey, it's Alex I am here. You are safe Casey. You are safe. I've got you." Alex soothed.

"No, no, no." Casey whimpered between her sobs. Alex took a good look at the redhead and realized she was still sleeping, it was a night terror. She probably wasn't even aware she was dreaming, nonetheless, having a nightmare. Holding Casey tight in her arms, Alex slowly rocked the fretting woman back and forth while rubbing soothing circles against her back. "It's okay, Casey, I am here. I've got you, I won't let anyone hurt you."

Soon, Casey had settled and was asleep in Alex's arms. As Alex moved to lie the redhead down, Casey clutched on to Alex, desperate to not let go. So, instead Alex shifted them both down into the bed, Alex on her back and Casey sleep against her chest with an arm wrapped around her waist.

Surprisingly, the insomnia that Alex had been battling just a short while before seemed to disappear and she found herself at peace, quickly drifting off to sleep. The two women wrapped in each other's arms. Perfect strangers, but feeling so at peace in each other embrace as if they had known each other for all of eternity.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Okay, so here it is a bit later than I had planned. This chapter actually was meant to be longer (like about another 2000-3000 words), but I realized it would be better as another chapter, so you will get one more of this even if you all do choose Out of the Woods to be finished first. So far, it's tie, counting everyone who actually voted! I have to say, I might be leaning more towards A Lack of Color, only because I know how it ends… (I feel like a Dr. Evil laugh is needed right here!) Although, I am seriously in love with both stories. I promise to not drag this out over months. I don't care if I have to fake the Ebola it will get done! :)**

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Casey awoke to the sound of the chilling fall rain splattering the window above the bed. The house had clearly dropped in temperatures during the night, but the warm breath of her bed mate against her skin reminded her that she wasn't cold against the early morning chill. She hadn't been cold in weeks, thanks to the warmth of Alex.

According to Alex, Casey had been suffering from night terrors. A few nights they had been so severe, she'd eventually woken herself up while wrapped tight in the blonde's loving embrace. Alex had attempted to talk to Casey about her dreams, but the nice part about night terrors is the not remembering factor. To be honest, seeing the deep look of concern that always laced Alex's icy blue eyes when she thought Casey wasn't looking made Casey a little relieved she couldn't remember the horrors that plagued her dreams. The only memory that seemed to stay forefront in her mind was that of her hands in the dark earth, then meeting Alex.

Feeling the blonde shift in the bed and snuggle tighter into her, Casey wrapped her arms around the woman. She didn't really want to admit it, but she was starting to have feelings for Alex. The blonde treated her with warmth and love she felt as if she'd been missing in her life, and made her feel safe. Casey may not have been able to remember who exactly she was, but she knew without a doubt that she needed to feel safe. It was what she'd been searching for out on that road the day Alex found her, safety.

"How are you feeling?" she heard a groggy Alex ask from her chest.

"Good." Casey answered shifting enough to let Alex stretch and climb out of the bed. From this point on, they wouldn't discuss Alex sleeping in the bed with her. It was their way of not making the situation something bigger than it should be, in other words, their way of ignoring their obvious growing feelings.

Casey was aware of this paradox, but was happy to not rock the boat. She respected Alex's current situation of being recently separated and in the process of a divorce and nasty custody battle. She also greatly needed Alex's support and loved the safety the blonde seemed to provide so willingly and had no desire to cause that to end by mentioning her growing attraction and feelings for Alex. So, she remained quiet and respected Alex's boundaries. Plus, why would someone like Alex Cabot want to be with someone who didn't even know who they were, or what they'd done?

Walking downstairs, Casey and Alex quickly set forth fixing breakfast. The two in just barely a months time had set into a firm routine of Alex fixing the coffee and oatmeal with fruit while Casey fed, walked, and played with Star. These simple moments outside in the cool morning air, throwing the ball for the over eager boxer while watching Alex through the kitchen window seemed to put Casey's whole turbulent chaotic world at ease. She didn't need to know all the answers of who she was, because somehow this blonde blue eyed woman made her feel as if she knew more about herself than she ever could have imagined.

Seeing Alex look up and lock eyes at her with a goofy grin as she take a bite of sliced apple, Casey calls, "Star, come!" The well trained dog instantly heeds her call and bounds to the door.

Entering the now warmed home, Casey asks, "So what's on your schedule for today Al?"

The simple even shorter form of the blonde's name had become a bit of a thing between the two women. Casey would refer to Alex as Al, and Alex to Casey as Cay. It always seemed to earn a dramatic eye roll from Kim, much to Alex's amusement. It was just a friendly thing after all.

"Well, I have a dental this morning, followed by a spay and neuter, then the regular round of afternoon exams." Alex spattered off while fixing her coffee, "hey, Cay, can you pass me a Truvia?"

"Here," Casey said passing the packet over while mixing her oatmeal.

"Thanks," Alex said continuing, "Then, I have the usual pre-boarding consults all before Little George gets here this evening. I am so excited!"

Pausing from now eating, Casey smiles, "I am sure you are, having your time bumped back a week was a bit of a shock."

"Yes, but everything will be fine now. Abbie has assured me that Madeline can't argue it again. She has to bring him. I can't wait to see him. I have the whole time planned out. We can take him to the Teddy Bear Factory, and Ben and Jerry's and the park and playground, you name it. We are going to have some serious quality time. Most importantly, lots of snuggling." Alex was completely beaming while talking about George and Casey couldn't help but find herself falling in love with the blonde by the second.

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she said, "Come on Alex, if you are going to get your whole day complete before George arrives then we need to get on our way."

Seeing the change in Casey's posture, Alex felt as if she said something wrong, but agreed and quickly cleaned up. Not thirty minutes later both women and dog where in the Range Rover headed to Alex's clinic. As much as the blonde tried, she couldn't shake the feeling that she'd said something to upset Casey.

"Did I upset you?" Alex firmly questioned.

"What? No?" Casey answered a bit confused by the sudden question. "Why are you asking?"

"You seem withdrawn since breakfast, since I was talking about George. If you are uncomfortable with his trip you can stay with Kim, she offered." Alex felt awkward now for questioning now at all. She wasn't really sure why she'd asked at all, and frankly was worried she was dancing on thin ice and at risk for making Casey realize something way to soon, if that was the case at all.

Taking Alex's hand in her own, Casey squeezed lightly, "You didn't make me uncomfortable, Alex. Honestly, all I noticed was how much you love your son and then the time and I didn't want you to be late getting home tonight and for Madeline to use that against you is all. No big deal, okay?"

"Okay, Casey. If I upset you, you'd tell me right?"

"Absolutely, Al."

"Good. I'd never want to hurt you, Cay."

"You never will." Casey whispered. The rest of the drive passed in comfortable silence.

The rest of the day passed with ease. Casey had a way with the animals and much to Kim and Melinda's amazement had picked up all hospital procedure with skill. Later, that afternoon as the redhead stopped by the front office to check to see if she was needed for anything else before getting started on the sterilizing packs, she found Melinda, and Kim giving Alex lecture over how to handle Madeline that evening.

"I'd just be a cold hearted bitch." Kim stated flatly.

"Wait? That would be a change?" Melinda quipped.

"Bitch." Kim snipped.

"Excuse me, Al, I was just wondering if you needed me up front any longer? If not, I am going to head back and get those sterilization packs started so we can head home soon." Casey said with a small smile.

Alex had a grin like a fool on her face that neither of her friends missed, "That would be great Cay, I am just finishing paperwork. Let me know when you are ready and we will hit the road."

"Okay," Casey replied in almost a soft whisper as she slipped from the room and into the back.

"Are you sleeping with her?" Kim asks no tact in her question at all.

Alex's jaw drops, as a barely audible, "What?" falls from her lips.

Melinda smacks Kim's arm, "Didn't I tell you to let me ask? I told you that you wouldn't ask politely."

"Well, you weren't asking fast enough."

"Fast enough? Geez, woman, did you want me to ask Alex, or Casey?" Melinda gapes.

"You two need medication," Alex says shaking her head looking back to her paperwork and pointing towards the in house pharmacy, "Pills are that way, help yourself."

"Oh, shut it. Seriously, are you and Red an item? I mean, you act like a couple and have love names for each other." Kim continues.

"Lord, Kim!" Alex huffs, "We are not an item, and we don't have love names for each other!"

"Really? Al?" Melinda adds.

Alex glares at her friends, "Okay, fine, maybe, just maybe I like Casey. But it doesn't matter. She doesn't even know who she is and she doesn't feel the same way. So, drop it you two. Geez, why don't you two focus on yourselves?"

"What's that mean?" Kim and Melinda ask in unison.

"You two are always skirting around the fact that you have feelings for each other, why don't you worry about that before worrying about me." Alex says trying to continue on with her paperwork.

"I am worried about you, because you just got out of a bad marriage and picked a strange woman up off the side of the road. Obviously you want your space, so I will give it to you," Kim replies storming from the room.

Sending Alex a sympathetic look, Melinda adds, "I will leave you to your paperwork so you can get home before George gets home, but before I go I'd like to point out she obviously has brains. She picked up the hardest parts of this job with little effort and has them mastered in almost no time at all Alex. She is really smart, that says something for her, what exactly that is I am not sure."

About an two hours later Alex was busy bustling around the house in a frantic manner trying to ensure the house was perfect for her sons return home. He'd been away for almost two months and she was eager for his return to go smoothly. She wanted everything as close to the way it was the day he left, which she was fast realizing was close to impossible. She couldn't quite pin her finger on the problem though as she rushed from room to room with Casey in tow.

"Al, sit down and take a breath." Casey hopelessly tried to soothe.

Adamantly shaking her head no, the blonde firmly stated, "No, something isn't right. I have to have everything perfect. Something is out of place and I haven't found it yet."

"Me." Casey stated in a very monotone voice. "It's me Alex. I am what's out of place. Everything is perfect. I am what doesn't fit here."

Freezing in her steps, as Casey's words sink in and Alex realizes she is actually right, she turns to face the paling redhead. "Casey, you are right and wrong. You are right in the sense that you are exactly what I couldn't place. You are wrong though, because you do fit here."

Alex's words felt warm to Casey, as the two women stood in the middle of the living room. There was a sincerety to them and Casey knew Alex meant every bit of what she said, it is probably why she felt so safe and secure with the blonde, it was why she was falling in love with her and yet she couldn't even remember her own past.

Crossing the room to Alex, she ached to touch her, to pull her into her arms and kiss her, but Casey refrained, instead she stood mere inches from the blonde locking her deep evergreen eyes with the blondes icy blue ones, and when she finally spoke she asked, "Do you mean that Alex?"

Feeling as if she could melt from Casey's intense gaze and close proximity, all Alex could manage was a breathy, "Yes, Casey."

Star's sudden startle from her dog bed to the front door barking, quickly let the two know that Madeline had arrived. Casey took a seat next to the fire to await her formal introduction with George, while Alex handled Madeline. Alex was prepared but nervous all at the same time. She hated dealing with Madeline.

Opening the door she at least didn't have to fake a smile, seeing George's excited little face and hearing him squeal in delight at seeing her instantly melted her heart and plastered the biggest smile to her face. "Mommy!" George squealed while in full run to Alex. She quickly dropped to her knees and scooped the little boy into her arms holding him tight.

"You have grown so much, baby!" Alex managed to say while plastering kisses all over the little boy.

"I not baby, I George!" George barked back at Alex.

Smiling she laughed, "And you have such a personality! I have missed you so much."

"Alex, I will just set his stuff down for you." Madeline said pushing right past Alex and into the house, startling Casey. "I am sorry. I didn't know you had a date Alex, would it be better for George to visit another time?"

"No, Madeline, this is Casey Lowery. A close family friend from Chicago, she has come in for a visit is all. George, this is Casey, can you say hi?" Alex says placing the little boy down on the floor, "I showed Casey, where Mommy keeps the cookies. Why don't you and Casey go get one ba-George?"

"Okie, Mommy. Come on, Cayee." George said taking Casey's hand and leading her away. Alex could only smile at how her son seemed to instantly take to Casey. He never took that way to anyway, cookie or no cookie.

"An old family friend Alex, seriously? How stupid do you think I am?" Madeline demanded.

Rubbing her head, Alex sighed, "Why are you still here?"

"Because, you have a total stranger in the house with my son!"

"Excuse me, 'our son' and furthermore, you took our son and moved him to another state with a total stranger. So don't give me that shit Madeline!" Alex barked back.

"Hey, you two. I am sorry to interrupt," Casey spoke from the kitchen doorway, with George in her arms. The little guy was happily chomping away on a chocolate chip cookie and playing with Casey's red hair. Looking at Alex for comfort, she continued, "I understand you two need to talk some things over, but it's a little stuffy in here, if you get my gist. Would you mind if I took George to the play set with Star? Or would you prefer for me to feed him dinner while you two walk Star?"

"Oh dear god, Alexandra. You have just taken to playing house I see. Whatever, Casey is it? I hope she is more attentive to you than she was to me. Have fun. I will see you at the end of the week." Madeline said as she stormed towards the door.

"Madeline, I get two weeks to make up for you cutting my time, and you know it." Alex called out after the fiery woman. Casey didn't stick around she just carried George back into the kitchen.

"Whatever Alex!" was all they heard as the door slammed shut.

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath to ease her fury, Alex suddenly heard giggles coming from her son. Opening her eyes, she could only smile. Casey stood in the open part of the kitchen with the little boy, spinning him in her arms. A big smile on her face, her red hair flowing wild, her sons chocolate colored hair a mess, both of their eyes locked as they giggled until finally the crazy redhead couldn't stand any longer and she sat down woozy on the floor laughing deeply with the little boy held tightly in her arms. At that moment, Alex Cabot knew she was doomed. She knew life would never be the same again. She'd fallen in love with a mystery of a woman. She had fallen in love with Casey.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Okay, I think A Lack of Color won. So, this is the one up to the finish line first then Out of the Woods. If everything goes as planned, it shouldn't be too long of a wait! I promise to not make you wait to long! :) And to never do this to you again! Look how late I stayed up to finish this chapter for you. That's love! lol**

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Alex lay in bed thinking, listening to the start of the first winter winds rolling through the mountains and past her bedroom windows. George was six days into his visit so far and everything had been going very well.

They'd taken him to the park to play and to the Teddy Bear Factory to make him and Casey real Vermont Teddy Bears. That very day they'd even traveled to Burlington to visit Ben and Jerry's. These were outings that George would of course not remember but were filled with laughter and pictures and moments that would make up some of Alex's most cherished memories for the rest of her life.

She was amazed at how easy both Casey and George got along. It was very evident in the way the redhead took her time to point out little things to the small boy that she truly cared for him. Seeing the woman she was in love with clearly love her child only made her fall for Casey that much more. She also found herself wondering if Casey had children of her own.

The redhead had a very natural way with children. Watching her with George and other children on the playground, she was very gentle and maternal it made Alex wonder greatly about the possibility of Casey having her own family. What if she did in fact have her own family that was looking for her? Was it selfish of Alex to be keeping her hidden away here? Was it wrong of Alex to fall in love with a woman who very well may have a wife who was looking for her?

Hearing footsteps come down the hall, Alex sat up in bed. "Casey? What's wrong?"

"I can't sleep." Casey said softly.

"I didn't hear you? Did you have a dream?" Alex asked concern lacing her voice.

"No, I think I've just become accustom to you being in bed next to me." Casey confessed. "I know it's silly since I have pretty much been nightmare free all week, but I really haven't slept well. Can I sleep with you just for tonight. I really need the sleep."

Alex smiled not sure if Casey could see her or not. Pushing the troubling thoughts that had just plagued her conscious mind from her head she said, "Absolutely, climb in."

Within seconds, the two women were spooned together tight, Casey as the little spoon, Alex arms wrapped protectively around her waist pulling her closer. Even though, Alex had refused to admit it a loud to Casey she too had found sleeping without Casey difficult and in this very moment felt amazingly at ease. It didn't take long for either woman to fall asleep.

Alex's final thoughts before sleep overcame her were she would selfishly enjoy Casey as long as she could. She knew it was wrong of her, but despite her denial she knew she'd fallen in love with Casey, and never wanted to let her go.

In the early morning hours of 4 am, Alex's phone rang waking her and Casey. "Hello? Hey, Mel. Yeah, Duke is supposed to be NPO. Who gave him water? Lindsey! I swear, if he needs surgery she is fired. What does she not understand about NPO meaning 'no food or water'? We cover that day one!" Alex grumbles quietly into the phone. "Yeah, watch his vitals and listen to his stomach, it's already rigid? Fuck, okay, call and get Kim in. I will be there with Star in 30 minutes. Start prepping him for surgery. Yeah, it sounds like he has bloat. Thanks for calling."

Hanging up the phone, Alex rolled over to face Casey, "I have to go in."

Casey smiled, brushing a loose hair out of Alex's face. "Don't worry; I have it covered here until you get back. Worst case scenario little man and I will bring you a picnic lunch!"

Smiling back at the sweet redhead, Alex without thinking leaned in and placed a soft kiss to Casey's warm lips. It was a light but sensual kiss and as realization of her actions registered in her brain fully Alex broke the kiss with an apology that was quickly hushed by Casey's eager lips pressed firmly against hers again. The kiss grew in intensity as Alex drew Casey's bottom lip into her mouth and Casey pulled Alex tighter to her body and wrapped a leg around hers. Just as clothing was beginning to find its way to the floor a cry broke across the baby monitor, reminding Alex where exactly she needed to be.

"No..." Alex grumbled into Casey's collarbone as she chuckled quietly into the blondes neck.

"You have a possible surgery anyway. Go, I've got George babe." Casey lightly laughed.

"Thanks." Alex replied climbing out of bed quickly tying her hair back, and throwing on a thermal and scrubs. "I like you calling me babe."

"I like it too, Al." Casey replied heading from the room to gather George.

Alex listened to the redhead over the monitor as she finished getting ready to leave. Suddenly she heard Casey call out from behind her, "Alex, where do you keep your thermometer? I think George has a fever, he's burning up."

"It's right here," Alex said pulling the forehead thermometer from the vanity drawer and placing it to George's head. Within seconds the device beeped multiple times and flashed red reading the numbers 103. "Casey?" Alex breathes in a questioning tone.

"Everything will be fine Al, I've got this babe." Casey replies with a reassuring smile. "Just get me the Children's Tylenol and Advil, and tell me how much to give him. Little George and I can have a movie day and have lots of snuggles until you get home."

"Thank you," Alex says as she runs her hand through her little ones chocolate colored hair. Quickly showing Casey how much medicine George gets per dose, and giving him his first round she kissed them both goodbye and left with Star in tow. Pulling down the driveway, Alex noticed how the clouds above already looked like snow clouds. It seemed too early in the season only being November for snow, but the weather was known for turning fast here.

Casey spent the day snuggled on the couch with George. She didn't mind watching movies, or endless hours of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with the little guy, at this point she'd move heaven and earth to make him feel better. The meds would bring his fever down only for it to spike right back up about an hour before the next dose was due. Alex had called a few times to check in on them, but sure enough ended up in surgery to correct Duke's bloat.

Sitting on the treatment room floor next to the Great Dane's open kennel, Alex checked over his vitals as she talked to Casey, "So, how is little guy?"

Laying on the couch with the small child asleep on her chest, Casey answered, "Fast asleep on me right now. I was preparing to go lay him down in his bed when you called. His nose is a little stuffy now and he was a light cough, so I think it's just a nasty cold and hopefully not anything major."

"Yeah, me too. I can't wait to get home to you two. I should be able to head home in another hour or two, pending old Duke here doesn't do anything crazy." Alex sighed.

"What happened exactly?"

"Duke, is a Great Dane obviously and they are known for a condition called bloat. Bloat occurs when the stomach twists, and is usually fatal if untreated. It's why his food and water have to be elevated. Anyway, the other day he was showing possible warning signs of bloat. It's why I put him on NPO, no food or water, and lots of antacids to relieve gas pressure build up in his gut that can cause bloat to occur. When Lindsey ignored my orders she caused his bloat to occur, needless to say, she no longer works for us." Alex let out another long sigh, "I seriously can't wait to get home."

Casey smiled just as she felt the little one in her arms snuggle deeper into her, "We can't wait for you to get home either babe. Hey, I am going to let you go though. George is starting to stir and I want to get him down before he wakes."

"Okay, bye. See you soon."

"See you soon." Casey replied hanging up the phone. As gently as she could, she stood and carried the little boy up the stairs and ever so gently tucked him into his toddler bed. Kissing his forehead, she whispered, "I love you George. Sweet dreams, sweet baby mine."

Walking out of the room, she closed the door and headed to the master bedroom to grab the baby monitor. Turning it on, she decided to take a quick shower before heading back downstairs to clean up, before Alex arrived home. The shower felt nice and rejuvenating. Climbing out she decided to throw on a pair of Alex's old vet school sweatpants and a sports bra with a long sleeve tee shirt with some wool socks. Pulling her hair into a fresh ponytail, she felt a little human again. Grabbing the baby monitor in hand she decided to head downstairs to clean up finally.

Reaching the living room, she checked the thermostat and threw another log on the fire. Picking up the scattered books and dvds, she smiled, taking care of George gave her an amazing sense of fulfillment. She truly loved the little boy.

Hearing the front open Casey set down the current pile of books she was working on and walked to the door to greet Alex, only to be shocked to come face to face with Madeline. Shaking her head slightly to clear her confusion Casey asked, "Madeline, what are you doing here? We weren't expecting you for another week."

"Cut the crap. I told Alex I would see her in a week, and you were standing right there at the kitchen when I said it. The week is up. Where is she, is George ready to go? I took a plane this time and we have to go now because the weather is getting bad. George! George, Mama is here, time to go home now." Madeline called out around the house.

Casey's eyes went wide with furry before some inner mother lion instinct overcame her and she pushed Madeline out of the house quickly pulling the door shut behind her. "Now, you listen to me and you listen well, Madeline. You will never step foot inside this house again without my or Alex's permission again, do you hear me? You do not live here any longer, therefore that is trespassing and I will have you arrested and prosecuted under the fullest extent of the law if you try it again. Furthermore, this is Alex's court ordered time with George. She gets her two weeks with him. You two have a temporary custody arrangement and you broke it and got penalized for it. Follow the law Madeline. You do not get to pick and choose when Alex gets her time with George and when she doesn't, it doesn't work that way. Plus, I would never let you leave here with him without Alex being able to say goodbye to him first. Now, you can get your sorry ass back in that cab and head back to New York. We will see you in a week."

Madeline stood on the porch in shock for a moment before lashing out, "Who the hell do you think you are? Where is Alex?"

"She had an emergency surgery and is on her way home now. She left me to watch George and I am perfectly capable of doing so, now I am needed back inside. Goodnight Madeline, I hope you have a safe trip." Casey said in as much of a peaceful tone as she could muster.

"I know you aren't from Chicago. I don't know who you are Casey Lowery, but you can damn well count on me finding out." Madeline said the venom evident in her tone as Casey shut the door behind her.

Locking the door, Casey watched the cab back out of the driveway. Sitting on the stairs to calm her nerves she heard George cry out over the baby monitor. Going to him, she found him drenched in sweat indicating his fever finally breaking on its own. "I want Mommy," the little boy cried out.

"Soon sweetie, soon." Casey assured, changing the little boy's damp pjs for dry ones, Casey held him close to her, "Come on sweet George, I have an idea to help you settle back down."

Taking him back downstairs, Casey turned down all the lights till pretty much the only glow in the room was from the fireplace, then she turned on soft melodic music. Picking the little boy back up in her arms, she held him where he rest his head against her chest and leg wrapped around her waist as she swayed effortlessly to the beat of the music, softly singing along. By the end of the first song, George was silent in Casey's arms, sucking his thumb while looking up at her with his curious eyes. Casey found herself mesmerized by this child. She loved him as if he were her own. Yet, felt this powerful and unknown need to protect him this evening from his own mother which surprised her. By the end of the second song, George was fast asleep against her again, but she kept dancing more for her own peace and comfort than his.

She never heard Alex come in the house, but she didn't startle when she felt the blonde's arms wrap around her surprisingly. Leaning back into her, both women swayed to the music with George. "Madeline, stopped by." Casey breathed.

Kissing Casey's shoulder, Alex sighed, "How did that go?"

"I scared her off, but we need to change the locks tomorrow, and notify Abbie. I will tell you everything over breakfast if that's okay." Casey said softly.

"Absolutely, baby. Why don't you let me put him to bed and you go get in bed. I will be right in." Alex assured.

"Sounds good." Casey said with a smile, realizing Alex wanted her to join her again.

Carrying George to bed, Alex relished the memory of the sight she'd walked in on. Casey looked so beautiful holding her son lovingly swaying to the music. It made Alex never want to be without Casey ever. She truly had fallen in love with her.

Putting George to bed with a kiss, Alex headed down the hall to her room. Finding Casey sitting up in bed and Star on her dog bed, Alex stood in the doorway and smiled at the redhead. "What?" Casey laughed with a light blush.

"You are amazing, and I am falling for you Casey." Alex said softly.

Casey smiled and pushed up onto her knees, "Good, Alex Cabot because I have fallen for you too. Come here." Alex didn't hesitate; she climbed right up onto the bed and into Casey's arms…


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I know questions are growing and they will be answered, but we needed to slow it down just a bit and enjoy… :) I love your reviews. Its so much fun to see where you think this story is going! Sorry, it took me a day longer than intended to get this up. I took a little extra time with it!**

* * *

Alex climbed up onto the bed and into Casey's waiting arms. With a feather light touch Alex's fingers skimmed the redhead's arms, as her lips brushed against her jawline dragging lightly towards her ear causing a sigh to escape Casey. "I want to kiss you again, Casey. I want to make love to you, but I am afraid." Alex admitted in a soft shaky voice.

Casey softly but firmly grasped Alex's face between her hands and looked into her eyes, "Why, Al?"

Alex bit her lip, before she confessed, "I have fallen for you, Casey, but what if you have someone waiting for you, what if you have a family waiting for you? I have had my family torn apart, and felt that pain Casey, I don't want to do that to you. I don't ever want to cause you pain Casey."

Casey starred into Alex's deep blue eyes, "I know my memory is MIA currently, but Alex, I seriously don't think there is another person. I don't know how to explain it, but I feel like you fill this part of me that has been empty all along. I sound ridiculous..." Casey finishes bowing her head in embarrassment.

Lifting Casey's chin with her hand, Alex looks into the redheads magical green eyes, "Don't ever be embarrassed for sharing your true feelings with me Casey. I feel the same way." Kissing Casey lightly, Alex pulls her tighter against her and deepens the kiss before breaking it and whispering, "I want to do this all the right way Casey."

"Wh-what? What do you mean?" Casey asks letting the lust filled haze leave her brain.

"I want to take you out on a date and romance you a little before…"

Casey laughs and lets herself fall back onto the bed, effectively taking Alex down with her, "You, what? What to wine and dine me before getting in my pants babe?"

Alex turns bright red from Casey's teasing, "When you put it that way I sound so lame!"

"Aw, babe, no. Cute is all. It's sweet and chivalrous. You are my very own knight in shining armor."

"I hate you right now." Alex groaned climbing from the bed.

"Hey!" Casey cried out, "You can't say that to me. You love me remember!"

"I said I was falling for you." Alex teased back with a wink.

A smile fell across the redheads face as she laid back and watched the blonde vet pull out her pajamas and prepare to go into the bathroom. She truly had fallen for Alex. She couldn't hide her feelings at all. "In all seriousness, I am excited about our date. Thank you, Alex. You are such a sweetheart."

"Anytime, beautiful. Get some rest. I am going to take a quick shower. I will be right back." Alex said in a soft voice as she walked into the bathroom and softly closed the door behind her.

About twenty minutes later, Alex emerged from the bathroom to find a beautiful sight, Casey asleep in the bed with George asleep snuggled into her. Turning off the light and walking to the bed, Casey awoke, "I'm sorry, I fell asleep. He wanted to sleep with you, I said I'd stay with him until you got out. I will go to my room now."

"It's okay, baby, stay. He clearly feels safe with you. Plus, you need your rest too." Alex assured, climbing in and snuggling close to them. Within minutes Casey was back asleep, and Alex found herself following suit quickly but not before dreaming up the perfect date for her and Casey.

* * *

The next day at work, Alex stole a few minutes alone in her office. Picking up her cell phone she called an old friend, "Hey Amanda, I need the best babysitter in town tomorrow night, is Liv free?" She instantly cringed hearing the shriek that came over the line.

"Liv! Are you kidding me? I am Georgie's godmother!" Amanda shrieked from behind her desk at the prescient catching Liv and everyone else's attention.

"Of course I was kidding, but you can bring her along for your entertainment after George goes to bed if you'd like."

"Always." The southern swagger was evident in her voice as she gave Liv a knowing wink making the brunette blush. "So, you have a hot date?"

"Great! Yes, I have a date, and before you ask, no, you haven't met her. Her name is Casey Lowery, she's a friend from back home in Chicago. She came in town to help after Madeline and we hit some things off." Alex said leaning back in her chair, a smile falling over her face as she thought of the redhead. "So, tomorrow evening, say 5pm?"

"Sounds good to me, Doc! See you then!" Amanda replied cheerfully.

Hanging up her phone, Alex tossed it on the desk. Now, she just had to finish arranging the perfect date. Seeing as she was going out with Casey it shouldn't be too hard, she already had the perfect person to accompany her.

* * *

That evening at 4:30 Alex found herself overly ready. Casey was upstairs getting dressed for their date while Alex sat on the living room floor playing with George. She'd taken a half day to make sure that she had enough time to dote on George before going out and ensure he was well enough for her and Casey to go out, and to prepare everything for Liv and Amanda. All in all, Alex was fairly proud of herself and her planning.

Granted she'd planned a nice dinner at a nice and fancy restaurant in town yesterday then promptly cancelled it this morning, she wanted Casey to fall in love with the real Alex, not an illusion. Madeline's parting words had a way of coming back to haunt her at the oddest times, but this morning while fixing breakfast and watching Casey holding George through the window while walking Star she could clearly hear Madeline saying, 'You never take me anywhere, we never did anything, all you did was work Alex. All we ever did was stay here in this one horse town.' That was when it hit her, she wanted Casey to love her for her, not an illusion or a fancy date. She wanted Casey to love the person she was not the places she took her. So she cancelled their plans and made new ones, to show Casey her favorite things to do.

"Mommy, red truck vroom!" George said pushing his truck over Star's backside.

"That's right, George." Alex replied hearing Amanda and Liv's truck pull up the driveway. "George, guess whose here to see you!"

"Who Mommy?" George questioned looking up at Alex so fast his brown curls bounced and his green eyes sparkled in the light.

"Go look out the window baby," Alex coaxed the little one, smiling as he excitedly jumped over their dog and ran to the window squealing in delight at the obvious sight of Amanda and Liv.

"Mommy, it Wiv and Manda!" George yelled.

Walking up behind her son, Alex smiled opening the door. "I know, sweetie."

"Hey Georgie!" Amanda said immediately dropping to her knees and scooping up her godson. Hugging him dramatically she cooed, "I missed you so much, you can never go to Mars that long again!"

"I no go Mars! I go to Mama's." George said a matter of a factly.

"Oh? Well, Aunt Liv here had got word that you went to visit Martian Mickey with Mickey and Donald that wasn't true?" Amanda said in an excited voice.

Laughing at her playful girlfriend, Liv turned to Alex, "So, where are you taking this mystery date of yours?"

Diverting her eyes from the detective to reapply her lipstick in the mirror, Alex said, "Casey isn't a mystery, I have known her for years, we are just getting to know each other on a knew level."

Olivia could tell her friend was hiding something, but not wanting to push it just yet she let it go, "Okay, where are you taking Casey?"

"I'm taking her to Mel's and then to some of my favorite shops, you know, let her see the real me." Alex said with a giant smile as Olivia and Amanda's jaws dropped.

"You are not, Alex Cabot!" Olivia gasped.

"Alex, no! I am all for going casual, but Mel's?" Amanda sighed in a deep southern twang letting Alex know just how disapproving she was of this idea.

"I want her to really know me, and Mel's is my favorite place in town!" Alex groaned falling back in a chair.

"Seriously, Alex? Yumblats?!" Amanda laughed at a clapping George.

"What?" A confused Liv questioned.

"Yumblats! I want yumblats too!" George squealed.

Still confused, Liv looked between a laughing Amanda and Alex as Casey walked down the steps and walked over to Alex, kissing the blondes cheek, "Good news babe, I love yumblats too!"

"I take it back Alex, you are golden!" Amanda laughed heartily, "She even speaksGeorge! You two should just elope!"

"What the hell are yumblats!" Olivia finally exclaimed in frustration.

"Language!" Both Alex and Casey laughed, as little George piped up, "Hotdogs, Wiv." Before climbing off Amanda's lap and preceding to sing the 'Hotdog Dance Song' while dancing to the kitchen.

"That's my cue." Amanda said standing to follow George to fix his dinner. Looking to a still slightly perplexed Liv, Amanda leaned over and kissed her cheek, "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, darling, try to keep up." Laughing and running off as Olivia playfully swat at her.

"Ours too, we will see you later." Alex said helping Casey into her jacket before grabbing her own, "Liv, I picked up your favorite beer, help yourself. You might need it with those two."

"Thank God it's five o'clock here!" Liv laughed, as Amanda sang out from the kitchen, "it's five o'clock somewhere..."

"Good thing I love her," Liv laughed as she closed the door behind Alex and Casey.

* * *

An hour later, Casey and Alex sat comfortably in the corner of Mel's hotdogs talking about things from Alex's past and trying to piece any of Casey's memories together. By far, it was the most unusual first date Alex had ever experienced, but also oddly enough the most enjoyable. Despite Casey not remembering major life details what she could remember was fascinating.

For instance, she could remember her name being Casey and she could remember her mother was allergic to dogs. She could also remember her favorite color was blue, that she loved coffee, hotdogs with mustard and sauerkraut, and she loved sweet tea. She also remembered the general basics. Then there were the deeper memories that were starting to surface like while she was dancing with George when he was sick, her mother soothing her that way as a small child, and she thinks her mother may have been a dancer. Alex found it amazing to slowly discover Casey, while she discovered herself, it was kind of amazing.

Alex filled Casey in on all the major details in her life, like growing up in Chicago. How her whole family still lived there, and how she met Madeline while in veterinary school at the University of Richmond. Madeline was getting her masters in business administration at the time. They decided after Alex proposed on a ski weekend away in Vermont to move there and start their lives. Alex was always happy with whatever life gave them, however, there was no pleasing Madeline. Alex went on to explain that's why she wanted to spend this date this way with Casey. She wanted to show her the real her and let her decide if she like the real Alex.

After dinner, they walked the streets and wandered random shops. Seeing her favorite kitchen store Alex got excited. "Okay, please don't think I am crazy, but I love cooking and I love this store, so lets go in and look around." Alex beamed.

"After you master chef," Casey teased.

Walking in the store, Alex was instantly drawn to a new set of pots and pans. "Madeline insisted on using PAM on all my pots and pans, and effectively ruined them. I keep saying I am going to buy a new set but haven't yet."

Walking up behind the blonde, Casey wrapped her arms around her waist and rest her chin on Alex's shoulder. Relaxing into Casey's embrace, Alex sighed from the instant comfort the redhead brought to her. "I think you should. Treat yourself tonight, then treat me to breakfast," Casey whispered into Alex's ear, "Lord knows, we will be hungry in the morning."

Alex swallowed thickly from the implied statement, "Oh really?"

"Absolutely, I saw a dance bar across the street we are hitting up after this…" Casey teased with a small laugh.

Alex shook her head feeling the blush cover her cheeks, "You are so mean…"

Buying the pots and pans, the couple headed back to the SUV to load them in. Closing the tailgate, Alex looked at Casey, "So the dance bar?"

"Or we could go home…" Casey said softly walking over and kissing Alex lightly pulling her bottom lip between her two lips, and her closer at the waist. Breaking the kiss, she softly said, "I've had the best time ever tonight, and I don't want it to end, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit how much I want you to take me home and make love to me."

"Let's go home then." Alex gasped. The drive seemed painfully slow, and getting rid of Amanda and Olivia even slower. The scattered kisses and making out on the stairs only seemed to draw out Alex's want for Casey more and more. She was sure the redhead was full on teasing her now.

Barely reaching the bedroom, Casey pushed Alex onto the bed with a laugh as she pushed the bedroom door shut and quickly climbed onto the bed. Pressing her lips against Alex's, Casey gives into her want and before she is fully aware of all their actions she feels Alex pulling her top off hastily followed by bra.

Before long, all their clothes were scattered about the room and hungry mouths and hands were finally getting the satisfaction of exploration. Alex can't tell what she loves more the feeling of Casey's mouth or hands on her skin, or the taste or feel of Casey on hers. Every touch, taste, and sound that escaped Casey was electrifying. She wanted more and needed more.

Finally, Alex slid two fingers into Casey's soaked center, quickly earning an appreciative gasp from the redhead as she arched her back in response. Alex quickly moved to straddle Casey's thigh and capture her lips in a heated kiss as she worked her fingers slowly enjoying drawing out the redhead's pleasure. Kissing down her neck, Alex felt her own desire grow to urgent and rolled her hips hard against Casey's thigh trying to find some relief as she moved her fingers in deeper searching for that spot that would make Casey cry out. Suddenly, Casey grabbed on tight to Alex as she rolled her hips into Alex's hand, while frantically whispering, "God, yes Alex there right there, yes!"

Locking eyes with the redhead, Alex worked her fingers fast curling them just right to make Casey come panting out her name. Helping Casey come down from her orgasm, Alex pulled her fingers free and began cleaning them with her mouth moaning at the taste. "God, you taste amazing."

Pushing Alex back on the bed, Casey smiled, "Well, I am glad you enjoyed as much as me, now it's my turn." Kissing her way down Alex's body, Casey could feel her mouth water as she neared Alex's soaked center. Not waiting, Casey pushed Alex's legs over her shoulders and ran her tongue through the pooled wetness moaning instantly at her lovers taste, causing Alex to arch up and cry out in pleasure. "So good," was all Casey managed before eagerly flicking her tongue over Alex's clit, bringing her close to coming till she was begging for more. Casey only broke long enough to slip two fingers in finding Alex's sweet spot before sucking Alex's clit into her mouth working it fast and hard while moving her fingers quickly. All Alex could do was hold onto the bed rails as her orgasm tore through her fast and hard having to bite down on her lip to keep from screaming out Casey's name. Casey helped her ride out her orgasm before kissing her way back up Alex's body.

"Wow," Casey breathed kissing Alex again.

"Yeah, you are telling me," Alex gasped catching her breath. "That was amazing."

"Yes, it was. Sleep for a bit. I plan to wake you up in an hour to go again." Casey said with a smirk.

Pulling Casey against her, Alex laughed, "You are so bad. I love you."

"I love you too." Casey whispered before kissing Alex again, and falling asleep on her chest.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: First, Surfrider, 'yumblats' are Martian Mickey's word for hotdogs in Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I tried to explain it as a joke between Amanda and George, but maybe it was missed. :) Your questions about Casey will be answered. I can't wait! Anyway, here we go! Oh, and as always, I love your reviews! Sorry for the little delay, life happened.**

* * *

Alex walked along the stream, the newly fallen snow crunching beneath her boots as Casey carried George in her arms. It was always her favorite thing to go for a walk in the first snow of the year, and that morning looking out her bedroom windows at the white landscape holding Casey in her arms, she'd shared this fact with her lover, who was excited by the adventure. So now the couple, walked along the stream with Star running ahead and Casey pointing out icicles and the differences in snowflakes to George, and all Alex could notice was how deeply in love with Casey she'd already fallen and for some reason that terrified her.

How could she possibly be so in love with a woman she barely knew? A woman who didn't even know herself? And what if when Casey regained her memory she didn't want to be with Alex anymore?

"Al," Alex heard Casey call out to her. Hearing the redhead's voice suddenly snapped her out of her thoughts and she realized she'd just been starring into the stream for an unknown length of time.

"Yes, Cay," Alex replied trying to sound cheerful.

Casey paused to look over the blonde and try to understand her emotions. Walking over to Alex, Casey passes her George and wraps an arm around her, whispering into her ear, "What is it, baby, tell me please?"

Pressing her cheek into Casey's, as George plays with her hair, Alex whispers back, "I will later, Cay, I promise."

Laying her head, against Alex's shoulder while taking in the beauty of the snow covered woods, Casey lets out a deep sigh. She may not remember what her life once consisted of but she couldn't imagine living a life without a moment like this ever again. Standing here in the freezing cold with the woman she loves and the little boy she loves enough to be her own she feels like she is where she was always meant to be.

Seeing Star tear past them, Alex laughs, "That's our sign it's time to go home, the old Ogre has gotten cold and wants to go home."

"Mommy, I cold too, brrr…" George says with a smile from under his jacket.

"Then let's head home and get some hot cocoa and warm cookies." Alex replies with a warm chuckle as she kisses George's cheek. Turning towards home, she notices how at ease the redhead seems and it gives her a little hope that it's a sign that Casey will remain with them even after her memory returns.

Arriving home, Alex passes Casey a sleepy George asking, "Do you want to go sit by the fire with him while I make the cocoa and cookies?"

"I'd love too." The redhead replies with a smile taking the little boy in her arms and walking to sit in the rocking chair next to the fire. Feeling the little boy snuggle into her, Casey can't help but let herself relax a little more. Madeline was due to arrive tomorrow evening to pick George up and Casey knew she'd miss George terribly. She actually felt an ache in her heart at the idea of not having the little boy in the house.

She'd become so use to the little boy's presence in the house. It had become second nature to help Alex with waking him up and putting him to bed, teaching him about new wonders of the world, playing with him, just acting like a parent. Even though, it had only been two weeks Casey felt an unexplainable connection to this child. She couldn't quite put it in to words...it was as if he was filling a part of her.

Casey didn't remember feeling her eyes get heavy. She didn't recall her stilling in the rocking chair. She didn't remember falling asleep to the feel of George's soft breathing against her chest. All she knew was she felt warm and loved and safe.

"Casey," she heard through her sleepy haze, forcing her back into the land of awake, "Casey, it's time."

Groggily opening her eyes, Casey suddenly felt as if she was being launched out of a rocket. Her heart began to pound furiously in her chest and she found it impossible to breath, as she clutched onto the small bloodied child in her arms. Hearing footsteps approach her, she clutched the little one closer to try and shield him from further harm as she felt a warm hand touch her cheek and whisper, "Casey, its Alex, breathe baby."

Letting out a much needed breath, she quickly sucked in another relishing the feel. Feeling her heart rate calm itself, she noticed George was fine, sleeping peacefully in her arms. Looking up to Alex, Casey asked, "What happened?"

"You tell me? You looked like you saw a ghost or something."

"I don't know," Casey breathed sinking back into the rocking chair. "I think I was dreaming. Before, I fell asleep I was thinking about George leaving and how I didn't want that to happen, it must have played into my dreams is all."

Alex knew Casey was holding something back from the tears rolling down her cheeks. Not wanting to push her too far too fast, she let it go and instead kissed her softly. "Hot cocoa is ready along with the cookies. You want me to take him so you can have a moment?"

"No," Casey choked, looking into Alex's steely eyes, "Can we just stay here a minute?"

"Anything you need, baby." Alex said squeezing Casey's hand for reassurance.

Alex didn't know what Casey had endured prior finding her on that back road that early fall evening, but she knew whatever her girlfriend had experienced was clearly traumatic. The fear she'd seen on Casey's face when she woke her just a minute ago spoke volumes. At this point, the blonde was fairly certain Casey had lost a child.

* * *

The next afternoon, Alex found herself sitting in her attorney's office having a battery of questions tossed in her direction as to who this Casey Lowery was, and why she was living with her. Abbie was in no way shape or form impressed with the way Casey handled Madeline especially since she laid hands on Madeline. In the brunette's opinion, Casey should have called the cops and filed a report immediately. According to Abbie, this may have set them up for a harder battle in court.

"Why, did you not tell me you had a girlfriend living with you Alex?" Abbie stated bluntly, "You hired me to handle your divorce and look out for your best interests. I can't do that if you don't give me all the pieces to the puzzle first. Furthermore, its worse when I hear it from Madeline's attorney. You do know who exactly Madeline is marrying don't you?"

"A guy named Jason Whitaker. He's an attorney in Manhattan. What does that matter exactly?" Alex asked with obvious annoyance in her voice.

Abbie pinched the bridge of her nose with her fingers. Taking a breath she began, "Let me put it to you this way, he is a high class attorney in Manhattan. He has money and connections, and right now he is using those to get himself the best attorney in New York who is also licensed for Vermont. They know the longer they keep George in New York the more of a chance they have to keep him there permanately. Now do you get it? They will bleed you dry in custody battle fees, then leave you with nothing. You can't afford to hide things from me. Got it?"

"Got it." Alex replied meekly. As Abbie continued on about the state of their position for the custody battle, Alex found her mind wandering to Casey, to what she'd been through. Would she ever remember? And if she did would she tell Alex?

* * *

Casey lay on the couch watching television when Madeline arrived later that afternoon. Hearing her pull up outside, Casey snuggled further in the couch watching George play with his cars. She couldn't help but smile at his chocolate curls bouncing as he made little 'vrooming' noises and scooted around the floor. Hearing the doorbell ring and Alex come scrambling down the stairs, Casey felt tears build in her eyes when the little green eyed boy locked eyes with her and said, "I no go bye, bye Cayee. I stay with Cayee and Mommy."

Casey couldn't say anything, she was to afraid she'd cry and upset the little one. So, instead she smiled at him and ran her fingers through his hair. "I wish you could, sweetheart."

Hearing Alex open the door and greet a very icy Madeline, Casey sat up and slipped on her boots. Taking George's hand she walked him towards the door. George frowned at his mother's and firmly stated, "I stay with Mommy and Cayee. No go with Mama."

"George, come on, I don't have time for this today." Madeline sighed bending over to pick the little one up.

"This is a thing? This is news to me." Alex questioned unhappy by Madeline being so short with the little boy.

"I no go!" George said screaming and kicking in Madeline's arms.

Madeline quickly thrust the little boy into Alex's arms. He quickly settled as Madeline rubbed her hand protectively over her stomach. "We have to go home now George. This isn't optional. It's you time to be with Mama now. Stop acting like that, you could have hurt Mommy or the baby. Alex please put him in the car."

With that the woman glared at Casey as if she had instigated the outburst, and left the house. Following Madeline to the car, Alex strapped George into his seat and gave him a kiss allowing Casey to say goodbye to the crying little boy too. "No, Mommy, Cayee! I stay, I stay with you! No go Mama! I stay!"

"It will be okay baby, we will see you real soon." Alex soothed, as Madeline glared and climbed into the car.

Watching them drive down the driveway, both women headed quietly inside. Casey sat on the edge of the couch crying silently, as Alex stood at the window looking out at the mountains. Looking to Casey, Alex's heart broke. George was her son, and she hated what she was putting him through, but seeing the woman she loves so upset by causing him pain too made her love Casey even more.

Walking to the stero, she flipped her iPod to a song that reminded her of finding Casey on the road that day and hit play. Moving in front of the redhead, she pulled her into her arms as the music started and whispered into her ear, "This song reminds me of you, Casey. I love you now and forever."

Casey laid her head on Alex shoulder as she whispered, "I love you too, Al." Listening to the words, she fell even more in love with the blonde.

 _I'll use you as a warning sign_

 _That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind_

 _I'll use you as a focal point_

 _So I don't lose sight of what I want_

 _I've moved further than I thought I could_

 _But I miss you more than I thought I would_

 _I'll use you as a warning sign_

 _That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind_

 _I found love where it wasn't supposed to be_

 _Right in front of me_

 _Talk some sense to me_

 _I'll use you as a makeshift gauge_

 _Of how much to give and how much to take_

 _I'll use you as a warning sign_

 _That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind_

 _I found love where it wasn't supposed to be_

 _Right in front of me_

 _Talk some sense to me_

As the song ended, Alex looked deep into Casey's green eyes and softly said, "I will always keep you safe. I love you, Casey."

Casey smiled, running her hand down Alex's face before kissing her softly. Breaking the kiss, she whispered, "I know. I will always love you, Alex."

 **A/N: The song is 'I Found' by Amber Run.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I will be making some pretty big jumps in the timeline from here till the end, so enjoy!**

* * *

 **December...**

Casey stood at the Christmas tree she and Alex had decorated the night before while waiting for Alex to pull up the driveway at any moment with George. Alex decided to meet Madeline at the airport to pick George up, hoping that it would make the transition easier this go around. Since Madeline had him for Thanksgiving, Alex was getting the little guy for Christmas and New Years.

Casey was so excited for him to return home. She and Alex both noticed how after he left her night terrors returned, and she seemed to grow a little distant. Luckily, Alex had been very patient with her and found ways to help her feel safe and comfortable again. They'd actually visited a bed and breakfast on the coast of Maine for Thanksgiving which turned out to be just what Casey needed to start feeling secure again. They'd spent the holiday making love, watching the parade on TV and eating with the other guests. Then that weekend they wandered the shops in the town, holding hands and laughing over lattes and stolen kisses. It was the perfect getaway, and Casey knew she'd never been as in love as she was with Alex.

She adored the blonde. Everything about Alex seemed perfect to her, from the way she laughed to the way she smiled, to the way bit her lip when playing Sudoku, to the way she talked to herself when working out a problem. Looking at the twinkling lights on the tree, Casey couldn't imagine life without Alex and never wanted to find out what a night apart would feel like.

She loved looking at all the ornaments on Alex's tree. Every ornament had meaning and purpose. She had a Boxer dog ornament for Star, a new baby ornament for George, a Veterinarian ornament for herself, all meshed in with other various meaningful ornaments from her life. Easily Casey's favorite was the lighthouse one she and Alex had purchased together in Maine.

Holding the ornament in her hand and remembering the chilly walk up the beach to see the lighthouse, Casey smiled. She couldn't be sure if it was the memory mixed with the warm emotions of feeling loved, or the twinkling lights but suddenly she had a memory come back to her. It was so clear and fresh, as if it had just happened. All she could do was smile and laugh a little until she felt the warm wetness of her tears roll down her cheeks.

Hearing the door open, and George happily belt out, "Cayee! I home! I home!" Casey turned and picked the little one up giving him a big hug.

"I missed you so much! Georgie Porge! Never leave us for that long again!" Casey said quickly covering the little boy in kisses before looking lovingly at him.

"Mommy! Cayee crying. You sad Cayee?"

"No baby," was all Casey could get out before Alex was at her side.

"What is Cay? What happened?" The concern laced in Alex's voice made Casey love her that much more.

Reaching out a hand to touch the blondes face, Casey answered, "I am not sad. I just had a memory is all. I have everything set up in the kitchen baby, let's go get little guy good and messy and I will tell you all about it while we decorate cookies okay?"

"Okay, sounds like a plan. Let's go!" Alex said with a laugh marching into the kitchen. Casey loved to see how carefree the blonde became when around her son. It was as if all her worries melted away.

While icing the cookies, and watching George eat more icing and sprinkles than he used to decorate, Casey began to tell her memory, "I was a child, maybe five years old and my mother was holding me up to the Christmas tree as we hung my favorite ornament. It was a ballerina and you could wind it up and it would play the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies as it spun around. It was so beautiful. I was winding it up in her arms and giggling as it spun and my mother was smiling and spinning around with me. She told me she would teach me to dance like that one day. She was so beautiful. I saw her face Alex and heard her voice. She was beautiful."

"That's a beautiful memory Casey. Do you remember what her name is?" Alex asked wondering if she could find Casey's mom or if the woman was still even alive.

"No, I just remember she had red hair and green eyes like mine. Her voice was soft, but strong. Oh, and she smelled like Chanel No. 5." Casey laughed placing red sprinkles on the gingerbread man for hair.

Pushing some stray locks of hair from Casey's face, Alex leans in and kisses Casey's cheek, "That was a sweet memory, Casey. Thank you for sharing."

Casey just smiled and relished the feeling of love that seemed to be surrounding her. Everything seemed brighter now that George was home. That evening they curled up on the sofa and read _'Twas the Night Before Christmas_ to the little boy, before putting him in his new warm pjs and tucking him in bed.

Curling up into Alex's arms that night in bed, Casey let out a deep sigh before asking, "Alex, do you think any of the shops around here sell Chanel No. 5?"

Chuckling a little, Alex responded in a super country tone, "Probably not babe, this here is a one horse town. You'd half to go to the big city for that tall order."

Pushing up on her elbows, Casey frowned, "I am not impressed by the hillbilly accent sweetheart." Before bursting out laughing. "Point made though."

"I thought you'd like that," Alex said pulling Casey in for a kiss. As they began to fell asleep, Alex made a mental note to order a bottle in the morning for Casey's Christmas stocking. If she couldn't give the redhead her mother for the holiday she'd give her the next best thing, her perfume.

* * *

 **Two days later...**

Waking up in the early hours of the Christmas Eve morning, Alex watched Casey sleep. The redhead hadn't had a nightmare the last three nights. It was really almost seeming like George was the trick to making them stop.

She was amazed at how peaceful and beautiful Casey looked as she slept. So at peace with the world. It always made Alex wonder if Casey's dream world was filled with memories of her real life that she just couldn't remember when she woke up.

As the sunlight began to filter through the windows, Casey began to stir, opening her eyes to find Alex watching her. "Hey," the redhead said groggily.

Leaning in and kissing her sweetly, Alex said, "Good morning, beautiful."

Seeing the clock read, 6 am, Casey frowned, "Why are you up so early?"

"I was dreaming about you."

"Yeah, what about?" Casey sleepily mumbled curling back into the blondes arms.

"This..." Alex said kissing down Casey's neck and back up again, earning a breathy sigh from her.

"Oh."

"Want me to let you sleep?" Alex breathed into Casey's ear as her fingertips grasped the hem of the redheads shirt.

"No."

"Good," was all Alex said, pulling the shirt over Casey's head before quickly taking a hardening nipple in her warm mouth.

Casey gasped at the contact, tangling her hands in Alex's hair. "Please Alex, don't make me wait."

Knowing exactly what Casey was referring to, Alex pulled back and stripped herself as Casey pulled off her pajama pants. Both moaning as they came back together at the feel of the other. Kissing Casey again Alex let her hands roam the redheads body as Casey's roamed hers.

Neither wasted their time, Alex's fingers quickly found Casey's clit as Casey's slid easily into Alex's soaked core. Their love making was a little rushed and desperate, both wanting to come before they were disturbed. Casey knowing that she was about to come pulled Alex into a kiss to quiet herself, the action as well as Casey curling her fingers just right sent Alex crashing over the edge with her.

Finally catching her breath, Casey laughed, "Feel free to wake me up like that any day."

"Deal."

"Want to take a shower?"

Alex smiled at her mischievous redhead, "Absolutely."

A little later, Alex and Casey sat at the breakfast table with little George enjoying a breakfast casserole. "George," Alex spoke, "Do you know what is special about today?"

"No, Mommy." The little one spoke, his green eyes sparkling with curiosity.

"It's Christmas Eve, that means Santa comes, and tonight Kim, Melinda, Olivia, and Amanda are coming over for dinner before church buddy."

The little boy squealed with delight. "Manda is coming over?" He asked.

"Well, I think we know who his favorite is..." Casey laughed.

"Without a doubt. I will have to tell Olivia to keep her guard up, she might have a little competition at this rate." Alex said with a chuckle as her words made Casey choke on her coffee.

"True," she coughed. Catching her breath, "So, what's the plan."

"Everyone is coming over at three. Amanda said she'd entertain little guy with Olivia, while you, Kim, Melinda and I cook."

"Sounds good, and church after?"

Alex nodded, "Yes, it's kind of a tradition. Are you okay with that?"

"Absolutely. I'm Catholic, so I am use to Christmas Mass." Casey said without thinking before taking another bite of breakfast.

"Casey," Alex laughed.

"What?" Casey asked confused at the blonde's amusement.

"You just had another memory. You said you are Catholic."

Smiling, Casey laughed, "I guess I did."

The rest of the morning passed with ease and before they knew it their friends were overtaking their home. Amanda was just as thrilled to see George, and Alex quickly noticed how much more involved Olivia seemed with the little guy. It made her smile imagining her friends with a baby of their own one day. Alex knew Amanda planned on proposing at New Years and she couldn't wait for them to get married and start their own family.

Looking over at her redhead deep in conversation with Melinda about medical procedures, Alex smiled. She couldn't imagine another holiday without Casey. She was madly in love with her and couldn't deny her own fears about Casey getting her whole memory back and leaving. She just hoped when that time came Casey still wanted her.

Moving into the kitchen, Alex was soon elbows deep in casseroles, pies, and basting a turkey. Kim, as always, was ordering them around the kitchen in a very dignified and orderly manner. Melinda laughed at her now girlfriend and told her she deserved the name Kitchen Nazi, which earned a loud laughed from Casey almost causing her to drop her pie.

"Oh my god, like the Soup Nazi." Casey laughed. Looking to Alex, who was getting a good laugh at Casey's hysterics, she continued, "I love Seinfield. Sorry guys, the holiday is making me kooky." Passing the pie to Alex, she said, "Here Kathy, will you take the pie? I am going to walk Star."

The whole room went silent, as Alex paled about ten shades and held out a shaky hand. "You okay, Alex?" Casey asked unaware of her slip.

"Yeah, I just need some sugar, I'll eat a cookie. Go ahead sweetie." She replied quickly kissing Casey's cheek.

As Casey left the house, Kim attacked, "So, is Kathy her wife?"

"Shut up Kimberly," Alex snapped.

"Hey, settle down Alex. Kim is asking a question you know we are all thinking right now." Melinda said rubbing Alex's back.

"I can't breath," Alex said. "I need air, I need to talk to her."

"So she can lie some more?" Kim asked.

Melinda sighed, "Kimberly, let it go. Let her come to her own decisions." As Alex walked outside without a jacket.

The cold afternoon quickly enveloped her, causing her to regret leaving her jacket behind until she spotted Casey and quickly jogged towards her. "Casey," she called out as she approached.

"Hey babe," Casey replied turning to see Alex coming up without a proper jacket, "What are you doing out here like that? You'll catch your death sweetheart!"

Casey instantly took off her outer jacket leaving her in a fleece zip up and turtle neck sweater, and offered it over. Alex accepted then demanded, "Who is Kathy?"

"What?" Casey asked confused.

"You just called me Kathy in the kitchen, who is she?"

Casey realizing now why Alex had suddenly looked sick in the kitchen felt her heart sink, "I don't know, I really don't. Someone from my past, I am sure if something is tripping my memory I will find a link to it today though."

Taking Alex's hand in her own, Casey squeezed lightly, "I am sure it's nothing to worry about."

"Until you can guarantee me that, I don't know what to do." Alex whispered.

Pulling Alex into a tight hug, Casey kissed her girlfriends neck, "I love you, Al."

"I love you too."

The two walked back into the house with the ever eager dog. Continuing through a laughter filled dinner and unwrapping Christmas pajamas. It wasn't long before they climbed into two cars and headed to church.

The service was beautiful and candlelit. Casey found herself becoming so comfortable in the beautiful little church as Christmas hymns were sung. Looking down the pew at her friends and a sleeping little George curled between her and Alex, she smiled catching the blondes blue eyes.

Suddenly, she she had a flash of a memory, a pew in a large church filled with five rowdy kids and a blonde woman about eight years older than her trying to get them to sit still. A man walking up behind the woman, squeezed her shoulders and smiled at Casey saying, "I don't know how Kathy does it? Don't I have the best wife, Case?" They were her friends.

"Casey, what is it?" Alex whispered in her girlfriends ear.

"They were my friends." Casey whispered back.

"Who?" Alex asked a little confused.

"Kathy and her husband. They were my friends. We spent a Christmas together." Casey said feeling a little choked up as Silent Night began to play and the lights dimmed. It was her favorite Christmas hymn.

After putting George to bed that evening, Alex and Casey sat around the tree setting up the Santa gifts. As they finished Alex handed Casey a small present, "I want you to open this now Casey."

Taking the gift Casey smiled, "Okay." Tearing off the paper she found a box of Chanel No. 5. "Alex, thank you." Opening the box, she quickly sprayed the perfume on her arm and inhaled deeply. Laughing to herself, "It smells just like her."

Seeing Casey's delight, Alex smiled, "I am glad you like it."

"Oh my god, I love it baby!" Casey said pulling Alex into a kiss. Breaking it Casey dug under the tree for a small bag, proudly handing it to Alex she said, "I want you to have this one tonight."

"Yay," Alex replied quickly opening it to find a small box containing a beautiful three gemstone necklace. She new the ruby gemstone must be for her birthday and the diamond for George's, but then their was a blue topaz. "Casey, is your birthday in November?"

"Yes, I realized it when getting the necklace. Anyway, I wanted you to have all our love next to your heart always. It's from George and me." Casey smiled.

"Thank you," Alex said pulling Casey in for a sweet kiss. "I love you, Casey."

"I love you too, Alex." Casey replied before whispering into the blonde's ear, "Promise me we will always be together."

"Always, Casey." Alex replied. She'd never loved anyone the way she loved Casey. She would never let her go.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: If you thought this last chapter was nerve wracking just wait... ;)**

* * *

 **February...**

Alex sat in her attorneys office hearing more bad news. Madeline was now trying to move their custody battle to the state of New York saying Alex willfully let her move their child while married. Abbie was not impressed at all with this tactic and was preceding to inform the blonde of the new plan.

"Alex, we have to keep this battle in state. If it goes to New York you are screwed ten ways to Sunday if you don't move there. When you have George does anything seem off?" Abbie questioned.

Feeling as if her heart was being ripped out of her again by bad news, Alex lost it, "What the fuck am I paying you for, Abbie? I mean you said in the beginning this was air tight, now I find out I am losing this battle the further we get into it. I mean tell me straight, am I going to lose my kid?"

"No, you will not lose George. Your rights are protected from that, but you do have to understand right now you stand to lose a lot of custody." The brunette did not take offense to her clients words understanding that she just needed to feel in control of something.

"Sorry. I don't know what to do when he isn't here. I mean that day she left I begged her to leave him with me while she moved. I told her I'd pay her whatever she wanted in child support if she'd just let me have him more. I mean every time she drops him off he's ecstatic to see me and Casey, but screams when she comes to pick him up again. I don't know what the deal is but it breaks my heart." Alex said placing her head in her hands.

"He doesn't get excited to see her?" Abbie questioned.

"No, he begs to stay."

Biting the end of her pen, Abbie replied, "Alex, with your permission I'd like to order a psych evaluation on him. I'd also like to ask for notes from his babysitters, teachers, anyone who interacts with him. I want to know the difference in how he acts from home to home. I am not saying he is being abused or anything, but if he genuinely does better in your home, then it's in his best interest to live with you primarily."

"Okay," Alex said with a sigh, "So, what happens next."

"What happens next is I call a former colleague and see if he can help." Abbie stated grabbing her phone.

"Who is he?"

"Dr. George Huang."

* * *

The next afternoon while having coffee with Olivia and Amanda, Alex received a blazing hot phone call from Madeline. She was furious at Alex's accusations and investigation and reminded Alex that Casey would also be one of the interviewed. This made Alex a little panicky and once Madeline picked up on the fear in her voice she attacked fully telling Alex if she was lying, she'd make damn sure Alex never saw George again. By the time Alex got off the phone, she was a wreck.

"Bad?" Amanda questioned.

"Rabid is more like it." Alex replied running her hands through her hair. "Do you guys care if I cut out of coffee early? I just want to pick Casey up and go home."

"Sure," Olivia answered.

"Hey, what if Liv and I bring you guys some pizza and beer tonight and we can shoot off your steam?" Amanda offered.

Shaking her head with a chuckle, Alex said, "You know that sounds sexual right?"

"Absolutely." Amanda laughed with a wink.

"Sounds good, stop by around 6?"

"Deal." The couple said in unison.

On the drive home, Alex told Casey about Madeline's call. Casey listened intently to all the key points making mental notes as Alex listed off her fears. By the end, Alex was a shaky mess, but Casey was more level headed than she'd ever seen.

"Alex, calm down." Casey replied. "First, Madeline can't use your girlfriend against you. I am not violent, and I have taken very good care of George. Second, I can tell Dr. Wong the truth. He can't use amnesia against me, hell we can tell Abbie, it doesn't matter. The courts won't take George away because you have a bitter ex and when they hear my story they'll cut some slack I am sure."

"How can you be so sure?" Alex asked.

"I really don't know Alex, but your court and legal issues don't scare me one bit. I actually get excited hearing them." Casey admitted.

* * *

Amanda and Liv arrived at 6 sharp bearing pizza and beer as promised. Casey and Amanda had developed quite a friendship over the last few months and quickly headed down to the downstairs porch to set up. Looking over the rifles as Amanda set up the targets, Casey started to feel a little shaky.

"You okay?" Amanda asked picking up on Casey's change in demeanor.

"Yeah, fine. I just need to eat something I think. It's been a long day." Casey replied sitting down as she grabbed a slice of pizza.

"Have you ever shot a gun Casey?"

"I don't know." Casey replied without thinking biting into the pizza.

"What?" Amanda questioned as Olivia and Alex walked outside.

"We ready?" Alex asked enthusiastically interrupting Amanda's train of thought.

"Yes!" Amanda replied picking up her rifle as Alex grabbed hers. "Best shot wins and loser buys dinner tomorrow?"

"Absolutely!" Alex replied with a grin and wink at Casey.

Olivia sighed as she fell back into the chair next to Casey, as Alex and Amanda loaded and checked sights. "I swear they act like teenage boys sometimes. It's always a competition."

"How charming..." Casey replied sinking deeper into her seat. Something just didn't feel right with her as if she was going to be sick or something.

"Okay, we are ready." Alex said running over to Casey, "Kiss for good luck!" Alex quickly kissed a nervous Casey, as Amanda kissed Olivia.

Both women were laughing as the prepared to shoot. Raising their rifles both shot their guns simultaneously, the loud roar of the rifles ringing through the cold winter night air. Suddenly, Casey felt as if someone had their hands tightly wrapped around her throat, the pounding in her chest making it unbearable to do anything.

Seeing Casey drop her beer and pizza, and begin to throw up, Olivia screamed for Alex and Amanda to cease fire. Pulling Casey into a tight hug to calm her, Casey began to scream violently. Quickly flicking the safety on her gun, Alex set it down and ran to Casey's side as Amanda got a cool cloth.

Casey finally stopped screaming as Alex wrapped her arms tight around her and began to slowly rock her. Finally, the redhead calmed some, but began rambling almost incoherently. The only words the group could make out were, "It's your fault...he saw...he saw..."

Olivia and Amanda helped Alex get Casey something to calm down and got her to bed. Once Casey was asleep, Alex rejoined Amanda and Liv in the living room. Olivia was pacing in front of the fireplace, while Amanda sat poised ready for a talk. Alex knew she'd have to tell them now, but she greatly feared their reaction.

As Alex sat in the rocking chair, waiting for one of them to speak. Their icy stares spoke volumes, and she was ready for one of them to speak. Taking a deep breath, Olivia started, "What the hell was that downstairs?"

"A flashback." Alex said.

"Of what?" Amanda questioned.

"I don't know." Alex said weakly.

Olivia rubbed her forehead as she asked, "Why, why don't you know Alex?"

"Because I only met Casey in October and she has amnesia." Alex confessed quickly before she chickened out.

Both Amanda and Liv's eyes went wide with this knowledge. Finally, it was Olivia who spoke, "You've been lying to us?"

"Yes," Alex answered. Over the course of the next hour and a half, Alex told both women about finding Casey on the back road and how she'd been helping the redhead regain her memory, about her night terrors and her suspicion that Casey may have been abused and may have lost a child. That the one thing she knew without a doubt was Casey was a kind and caring person, but had witnessed something horrific.

Olivia just paced the floor as Amanda looked disapproving at Alex, "Alex, you brought a woman you didn't know into your home. What if she'd hurt George?"

"She wouldn't." Alex said firmly.

"How do you know that?" Amanda challenged.

"Because she loves me and I love her." Ale defended standing quickly as if she might attack if needed.

"Sit down Alex, I believe you." Olivia finally said, both to Amanda and Alex's shock.

"Liv?" Amanda questioned.

"I believe her." Olivia said looking at her fiancé. "We will keep Casey's secret and help how we can until her memory returns."

"We will?" Amanda questioned as Alex settled a little.

"Yes we will." Olivia said sitting down, "Alex, I need to tell you something I heard from Joe last week."

"Okay..." Alex said tentatively, clearly hearing the concern laced in Liv's voice.

"Joe got called out about twenty miles south of town last week. He said a mans car had a flat tire and the mans spare was flat and he had to take him a new one. Anyway, he fixed the guys car, but before the man drove off he showed Joe a picture and asked him if he'd seen the girl. Joe said it was Casey, but he lied and said no. He said the man had taken a call while he was working on the car and had lied about his whereabouts, which gave him a weary feeling about the guy, that's why he lied. So, Casey is right, someone is looking for her. The question is, is he good or bad..."

Alex didn't know what to say. All she could feel was her heart speed up and stomach twist. Casey may really be in danger...


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: And here we go again! With any luck this story will finish up this weekend! I am so excited by the possibility. Thank you for your awesome reviews, they are keeping me charged with this story. :) Also, sorry this chapter is short, but it has mad purpose, and I am working on the next...**

* * *

 **April...**

Cooking dinner one afternoon, Alex found herself looking outside in the yard at Casey and George. They were planting a garden together; it looked like loads of fun. She was trying to hurry so she could join them outside. The little three year old boy was laughing and splashing Casey with water from his little watering can while she laughed and chased him. It made Alex's heart full with love.

The spring had come with many changes in Alex's house. George was staying with Alex and Casey per the judge's initial examination of the findings in New York. Dr. Huang discovered that he was showing signs of distress due to the abrupt change in location. The test was to see if he did better spending more time with Alex and Casey and less time with Madeline and Jason. Madeline, of course, greatly opposed this decision and had now declared full fledge war on Alex.

The custody battle was becoming more and more heated by the moment and Abbie was up to her ears in paperwork with it. The brunette continuously reminded Alex to steer clear of Madeline as much as possible and to try and stay out of trouble. Casey had narrowly dodged a bullet in the investigation as Madeline had tried to argue she needed to prove who she was, but Abbie tossed that out as trying to bad mouth Alex and they weren't asking the same of Jason. Little did the brunette know how difficult of a task that would be for them.

As for Casey, she'd suffered some setbacks in her recovery after the shooting incident. Alex noticed that her memories had stopped resurfacing and her nightmares returned, although, they did leave again with George returning home. Alex also noticed how Casey had become much more watchful of George. The redhead seemed like an overly cautious mother, but Alex didn't question it. She didn't know if it was from Casey's flashback, or just feeling like they could have the little boy snatched away from them at any time, or both. Honestly, she was just happy Casey seemed to be showing some improvement since George's return.

Alex and Casey otherwise seemed to be doing okay. They were still madly in love and Alex still wanted to spend her life with Casey. They just needed to figure out her past and they would be golden.

Casey knelt down by the flower bed with George after playing. Digging a hole in the dirt, she instructed, "Okay George, now we take this little flower here and place it into the hole and cover it back up with dirt and water."

"Okay, Cayee." The little one replied.

Helping George plant the first flower, Casey noticed something oddly familiar, the cold dark earth against her hands. The patting of earth, the process of burying something, all triggered the starts of a flashback. Hearing the back door open and Alex and Star's approach, Casey couldn't help but let her mind wander to the cold dark recesses of her mind...what lie waiting for her there...

Her heart began to pound again as the memory of her desperate digging, shaky blood streaked hands placing something she couldn't make out in the hole before, quickly and furiously covering it back up, then the desperation of getting away, the confusion of where she was... Where was she? The trees were orange and red, red like the blood, so much blood, it was his voice she heard, he saw, he saw everything, she had to get away... The dizziness that began to overtake before the lights appeared, and then there was Alex...

"Casey!" The blonde's voice cut through her flashbacks.

Shaking her head clear, Casey focused on the blonde and George. "Yeah, sorry. I got lost in thought sweetheart. I just started thinking we need Milorganite."

"What?" Alex questioned not fully believing the redhead.

"Milorganite, baby," Casey said jumping up seeming completely normal. "It's a natural fertilizer, it will really help kick start our garden. We can finish planting the garden, but we should fertilize afterwards to help the garden grow well." She hoped her enthusiasm would not let on to her memories returning.

Alex still felt like she was missing a piece of this story, but Casey's bounding enthusiasm helped to dispel her fears. Kissing Casey's cheek, Alex asked, "Do you want to go get it now? I can help George finish planting."

"What about dinner, baby?" Casey asked chasing George around the prepared flower bed.

"It's fine, Cay. I got everything into the crockpot and its cooking. Plus, I'd love to be a part of the flowers."

Sitting next to Alex, with the squirming three year old in her arms, Casey lay her head in the blondes lap and looked up into her blue eyes. Taking a moment to look into the deep depths of her lover's soul, Casey thought about why she was keeping this from her. She hated to keep secrets from Alex. She was in love with Alex, wanted to marry her, and have kids with her. She wanted her happily ever after with Alex, but she needed to know who she was and what she'd done first.

"I love you, Alexandra." Casey said pulling the blonde down for a kiss. "Thank you for being patient with me."

"I love you too, Casey. Now go get the fertilizer." Alex said poking Casey in the ribs causing her to squeal and pin Alex back onto the grass.

"I told you not to do that anymore the other night." The redhead said firmly.

"I know," Alex whispered with a smile, "But I like to hear you squeal. I can't help it."

Leaning into her ear, Casey whispered, "Well, expect to be paid back tonight..."

Kissing Alex and George goodbye, Casey hoped into the Range Rover and headed to the plant store to pick up the Milorganite. Reaching the end of the road, she decided to go the scenic route to town. It was as if her memory was calling her back.

Driving the road Alex had met her on, Casey kept trying to piece the flashes of memory together. She couldn't quite get them to fit. Had she killed someone? Had she been caught? Was she attacked? What was the right answer?

Passing the spot where Alex found her, Casey was at a loss. Whatever she buried could be anywhere in these woods. How would she find it? She had to find whatever it was; it's the only way she'd get her answer, but how? It would be like finding a needle in a haystack.

Casey knew she had to find the spot. She had to find the missing piece of the puzzle. She just couldn't understand why she couldn't remember where to look. Turning onto the main road and heading to the plant store, Casey made a decision. She would try to find her buried item this week while Alex was busy with Abbie. With any luck, she could find it and piece her answers together before Alex even knew what was up.

Reaching the plant store, Casey bought the Milorganite and headed home. Pulling up outside the house, she watched Alex and George elbow deep in the dirt planting away. It was a beautiful sight, Alex's love for her son was so apparent. She could easily imagine having three more children with the blonde. She could easily imagine their life together filled with beautiful holidays, and happy love filled moments like this one. Seeing Alex's love for George made Casey fall even deeper in love with Alex.

That night in bed, Casey pulled Alex tight against her. The blonde had fallen asleep quickly after their love making and all Casey could do was brush the stray blonde strands of hair from her face. Knowing Alex was deep in her dream world, Casey whispered, "I promise Alex to find the answers. I promise to find them and to marry you. I will always love you."

What she didn't have the nerve to add was how she feared the answers would lead her away from the woman she loved…


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Writing this story is like putting a big jigsaw puzzle together. It's funny to think about first envisioning this story and now putting it together. It makes me feel awesome, like watching a masterpiece come together. It's funny to think this whole story came from listening to a Hozier song. 'Like Real People Do,' if you are interested. Just wanted to share! Thank you for your reviews! At this rate I might finish this story today!**

* * *

Casey paced the bathroom floor waiting for the shower to warm up. She had to get clean before Alex returned home. She had to rid her body of the dirt. Alex couldn't know what she had been doing. Alex couldn't know.

Stepping under the warm spray she instantly started scrubbing her skin. This had become routine over the last few days. Casey would drop Alex at Abbie's office and head to the animal hospital, she would work for a bit and leave for lunch and not come back. She'd head to the woods and start searching. Sometimes she'd find a spot she thought possible and dig, only to find nothing. Other times she'd walk for a couple of miles and turn back. Today she'd spent the time digging, however, she still came home empty handed.

She had one more day to search, after that she and Alex were due in court for a possible ruling. George was with Madeline and Jason currently, and would be returned to Alex after court, so it gave Casey plenty of time to search. She had to find whatever it was she buried. She needed to know. She had to know.

* * *

Alex stood outside of Abbie's office waiting on Casey. Her girlfriend had been late picking her up the last few days and it was starting to get old. Casey seemed distant again now that George was gone and it was wearing on their relationship, at least from Alex's perspective. While on lunch today, she'd spent her time looking for therapists for Casey. She was beginning to feel like Casey might make more progress in her recovery if she had a trained expert to work through her memories with…

Seeing Casey pull up, Alex smiled. Even though, she was worried about Casey she was undoubtedly madly in love with her. Just seeing Casey made Alex's heart flutter. Climbing into the SUV, Alex kissed Casey.

"Did you go home and shower?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, I am sorry I am late baby. We had a long day again, and I was gross. A shower before picking the most beautiful woman up was needed." Casey said with a grin.

"Oh was it?" Alex asked hinting around for hopefully a very satisfying evening.

"Oh yes, I am taking you to Mel's!" Casey said with a laugh.

"Oh." Alex replied disappointment evident. She was so stressed with the coming court hearing she could have really used some pleasure to distract her.

"Yes, and then I am taking you home to pleasure you over and over and over again, till you beg me to stop." Casey said with a smirk.

"Let's just go home then," Alex said kissing Casey's neck at the stop light.

"Gladly," Casey huskily replied as Alex nipped her ear.

Once home, it didn't take long for them to be free of clothes and panting one another's name. Casey proved true to her word, and happily made Alex come over and over, till finally the blonde begged for a break. Climbing from the bed, the redhead pulled on a tank top and sweatpants and promised to return with food.

Standing in the kitchen while a frozen pizza cooked in the oven, Casey marked locations on a map she'd hand drawn. Studying it dutifully, she tried to figure out exactly where she'd looked. If she could find the spot, it would end all of this madness and she could just focus on loving Alex. She just wanted to know she could be happy. She needed to know she was safe to be happy once and for all.

As the pizza finished, she cut it up and fixed to plates. Climbing the stairs to their bedroom, Casey thought tomorrow she'd take the whole day to search. She'd surely find what she needed that way. Her future stood in the balance and she needed to find the key to having it be hers.

* * *

"Thank you Casey, for last night," Alex said, as Casey approached Abbie's office.

"What do you mean baby?" Casey asked focusing on the road.

Taking a quick breath, Alex replied, "I really needed some you and me time. This custody battle has been wearing lately and then you've seemed a little distant since George left, I just really needed to be close like that so thank you."

Pulling up and putting the SUV in park, Casey looked into Alex's blue eyes. "I am really sorry, Alex. I am just trying to uncover who I am. I don't ever mean to be distant from you. I want everything with you Alex. I need that knowledge of who I am so I can give all of myself to you, darling."

"I love you, Casey." Alex said kissing the redhead.

"I love you too, Alex."

Pulling away from the building, Casey drove straight to the back roads and resumed her searching. In and out of bushes and trees, her answer was here somewhere and she would find it before picking Alex up today. She needed her answer. She needed her memory back. She needed it for Alex.

As Alex took lunch that day, she called Kim to check in on the hospital. "Hey Kim, how's it going?"

"Not well Alex," Kim sighed to busy to talk, but to frustrated to not.

"Wow, why?" Alex asked a little concerned her business might be taking a hit in her absence.

"Well, with you and Casey at Abbie's the whole week, Melinda and I have been a little overwhelmed in work. Plus the other girls are just crazy busy with regular hospital duties. We are managing though, sorry I know I don't need to stress you out any more than you already are," Kim replied smacking her hand to her head at her giant slip up.

"Wait, what do you mean with Casey and I at Abbie's?" Alex asked confused at her friend.

"Just what I said."

"Kim, Casey's been going to the hospital to help you all." Alex said feeling her heart rate speed up.

Swallowing thickly, Kim replied, "Alex, Casey has been taking half days all week and called this morning to say she wasn't coming in she was going to be with you all day."

"Come pick me up," Alex said flatly.

By the time Kim got to Abbie's office it was pouring rain. "Where do you want me to take you?" Kim asked as Alex jumped into the car.

Alex had been thinking this question over and over in her head. Where should she go to find Casey? Think back over the last week and Casey's words from this morning, Alex said, "Take me to the back roads near my house."

"Why?" Kim asked heading that way.

"That's where we are going to find her."

"How do you know?" Kim questioned.

"Because she's my soul mate and I have a funny feeling as to what she's been doing…"

Driving along the road, the two women came across Alex's empty Range Rover. Alex's heart began to pound in her chest as she remembered Olivia's words. What if whoever was looking or Casey found her? They seemed to drive for miles never spotting Casey. Kim finally asked, "Should we turn around and go back and see if we missed her?"

"No, she will be this way. She parked where I found her," Alex assured.

After driving another couple of miles, they spotted a rain soaked Casey walking the road. Alex jumped out of the car, only to be just as soaked in seconds. "Casey!" she screamed over the pounding rain, "What the hell are you doing?"

"I have to find it Alex, I am sorry!" Casey called back as Alex approached.

"Find what? Your death of cold?"

"What I buried!" Casey called back.

"What do you mean?"

"I am sorry," Casey said collapsing to the ground crying.

Alex knelt down beside the crying redhead, "What is it Casey?"

"I buried something out here Alex, I remembered burying something, but I don't know what it is…It may tell us who I am." Casey admitted.

Pulling Casey into her arms, Alex said, "It's okay. Let's go home."

Climbing into Kim's car, the brunette drove them back to their car. Finally, getting home, Alex took Casey upstairs and started a hot shower. Helping Casey out of her wet clothes she helped her into the warm shower, before taking off her own and joining her.

Standing under the warm spray with her arms around Casey's waist, Alex said, "Tell me everything you do remember."

"I remember screaming, holding a bloody child in my arms…" Casey paused shaking in Alex's arms. The feeling of warmth and Alex holding her giving her strength to continue, "I remember his voice, he saw what happened, and I had to get away, I remembered burying something before meeting you, and I had to get safe, I had to get away."

Kissing Casey's shoulder, Alex assured her, "You are safe Casey, you are safe right here in my arms with me. I will help you find what you are looking for, but we will find it together okay?"

"Okay," Casey whispered turning in Alex's arms and pressing her lips to the blondes.

They stood in the warm spray kissing, until the water began to cool, and then moved to the bed. Their love making was slow and sensual, as if it may be the last time. Neither woman would admit it, but both feared what they might find in the woods after the court battle the next day.

* * *

The next morning, Jason Whitaker stood in his Manhattan office, listening to his father over the phone argue reasons as to why Jason should not postpone his meeting and stay in town. "Dad, I have to go take George to Madeline. She's dealing with the damn custody battle. No, it's not optimal, but she's carrying my child, your grandson, and couldn't take the trip yesterday with the little guy in tow, so I am taking him in about thirty minutes."

Watching his step son, play on the floor next to his bookcase, he saw the little boy perk up at something on the bookshelf, "Yes, Dad, I am taking the helicopter. It's the fastest way!"

"Cayee!" the little boy exclaimed to Jason, "Cayee, Jason, Cayee!"

Tilting his head at the little boy, Jason walked over to see what his step son had discovered. Looking at the picture on the shelf, he said, "Dad, bill me. I have to go." Hanging up the phone, he looked at George, "This is your Casey?"

"Cayee!" The little boy beamed as Jason Whitaker smiled…

* * *

Casey and Alex arrived to court on time. Abbie instructed, Casey to sit behind Alex, while Alex joined her at the table across from Madeline and her attorney. Something about the courtroom made Casey feel secure. As the balif called out, "All rise for the honorable Judge Stanley," Casey's heart rate sped up. Something was familiar, she could feel it.

The judge looked over the court room before addressing the parties, "In light of the findings in New York and Vermont, I see that the child George Alexander Cabot, does appear to do better with his adoptive mother, Alexandra Cabot, however, at this time, it is a controversial matter to permanently remove the minor in question from the custody of his biological mother, Madeline Whitaker, and it is one that I am not ready to set precedence with in my court."

"Your honor you are wrong," Casey blurted out standing immediately.

"Excuse me?" the Judge questioned as Abbie swat at Casey telling her to sit down and be quiet.

Casey ignored the brunette by continuing, "Dunlop v Boyd of New York State, it was found that the minor in question Emma Boyd should be allowed to remain with her adoptive mother Zoe Dunlop versus be returned to her biological grandparents after her biological mothers death."

"Who are you?" Judge Stanly questioned.

"Casey Novak, prosecution for the Manhattan Sex Crimes for the state of New York your honor." Casey replied as if on autopilot.

"I am calling an immediate recess in order to look over this new information. The minor in the meantime, will continue to be returned to his adoptive mother, Alexandra Cabot, court will resume tomorrow at 9 am sharp."

As the gavel struck, Casey took a deep breath and headed out the courtroom doors, the flood of memories triggering within her brain causing her to search out fresh air. She could hear Madeline, screaming at Alex, and Alex calling out to her, as Abbie tried to fend off Madeline. She knew they all were in pursuit of her, but she needed air, fresh air…She was Casey Novak, and her memories were flooding her brain.

Pushing open the doors and escaping to the hallway, she came face to face with Jason, "Casey Novak, I can't believe it's really you…"

Hearing Alex call out, "Casey," she turned her head to look at her beautiful girlfriend, before looking back at Jason holding George. How was everything possible? The last thing she remembered before it all went black was telling Alex, "I'm Casey Novak, and I remember everything."


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: The one we've all been waiting for…**

* * *

 **Ten months earlier…**

Casey awoke to the sound of her phone ringing. Opening her eyes she could see that it was still dark outside despite the lights of the city, meaning her sleep was being disturbed. The few hours the redhead got to sleep a night were precious to her, so the offender better have a good reason she thought reaching over to grab the phone.

"Hello?" She said in a groggy, husky voice.

"Casey, it's Elliot," Her friend said over the line.

"Yeah, got that, what's so urgent that you have to wake me up at 4 am?"

"So, I had a funny feeling about Keri trying to run before court, especially since her ex made bail yesterday, so I camped out in front of her house…" Elliot confessed.

"Are you playing cops and robbers again? Didn't we just get out of trouble for this…" Casey joked climbing out of bed to get dressed. She knew where he was going with this conversation.

"I told him the same thing, Casey!" Jo Marlowe, Elliot's partner called out over the line.

"And you drug Jo down with you? I thought she had better sense than that."

Elliot smirked, "What can I say? Anyway, you and Jo can discuss my poor life choices later, your victim is bolting."

"Fuck! You are kidding me?" Casey sighed, pulling on her favorite pair of jeans, Captain America shirt, leather jacket, and boots.

"Nope, not at all." Jo said.

Sighing again, Casey replied, "Stop her. Take Taylor if you have to, but do not let her leave. I have spent the last year building this case I will not lose it because she suddenly got cold feet."

"Where do you want us to take her?" Jo asked.

"My Office."

"You got it boss." Elliot said opening the car door.

"Thanks El, I will take you all out to a fancy dinner after we win this."

"Any time, Case," her friend responded before hanging up.

Casey quickly got her things together. She had a suit at the office and could shower there if needed in Judge Donnelly's office. Liz was her mentor and had helped her many times when she was a prosecutor. She understood how much of herself Casey had put into this case. She'd even warned Casey many times that she was getting way to close to her victims.

It was hard not to though. Keri and Taylor had barely escaped Keri's ex with their lives. Keri's ex, Michael was an evil man. He had brutally beaten Keri for years, and almost killed her the last time. Taylor had witness the final attack in which Michael had stabbed Keri for supposedly looking at a neighbor in a sexual manner and left her to die. Six year old Taylor had managed to get a neighbor after Michael left and ended up saving his mother's life. The man was psychotic, in Casey's opinion.

Taking the stairs to the garage below her apartment building, Casey climbed onto her motorcycle. Starting down the streets of Manhattan, Casey thought back over the year. It had taken her months to gain Taylor's confidence and build him up to be a witness. She didn't like to have children testify, but in this case it was the only way to convict Michael. Keri had been nervous of it being too stressful for Taylor and had mentioned fleeing numerous times. Each and every time Casey had managed to talk her out of it.

Casey had admittedly becoming far too close to the woman and her son. She'd even gone too far as to help Keri get Taylor involved in baseball to help give him a way to feel like a child again. The little curly brown haired boy and his mother had become like family to Casey. She knew Donnelly was right with every warning, but over the last year hearing the horror she and her son had endured Casey felt an impulsive need to get justice for them.

Reaching the District Attorney's office, Casey met Elliot, Jo, Keri and Taylor at the back entrance. Shaking her head at Keri, Casey began, "What were you thinking Keri?"

"You don't understand Casey, he called the house. He said he'd kill us before he let us put him back in jail." Keri cried. The brunette woman was in hysterics.

"Okay, let's go to my office." Casey said with a sigh. Leading the way to her office she informed Elliot that he needed to pull phone records and get uni's posted around the building ASAP. If Michael was really as much of a threat as she imagined, he would try to pull something off before court commenced today. Keri and Michael weren't due in court until the end of the week at best, so she needed their safety ensured the entire time.

Settling into her office with Keri and Taylor, her friend said he'd be at one end of the hall and Jo at the other until uniforms were posted. "Okay, Keri, tell me everything that happened," Casey said pulling out toys from her desk for Taylor and handing him her ipad. "You play kiddo while your mom and I talk." Casey said sitting next to Keri.

"He called Casey. He said he'd make Taylor and I pay for betraying him and having him locked up. Why did he get out? You said he'd stay locked up?" The shaky woman asked.

"Listen, the trial Judge thought he had shown enough restraint and that there wasn't enough evidence shown yet to keep him locked up throughout the trial. He is supposed to be under surveillance the whole time, so it was more than likely idle threats. I doubt he is going to try anything. However, he is going to be going back to jail now that he threatened you. I just have to have the phone records and I can get those by 9 am. So don't worry." Casey said, and no longer had the words left her mouth than she heard gunshots down the hall.

Casey instantly stood and told Keri to take Taylor to the back part of her office. Closing the doors, she used her booted foot to push the stray toys back under her desk. The footsteps coming down the hallway letting her know the gunshots had come from Jo's end of the hallway. Quickly she moved to the door to close it and lock it, just as she closed the door and began to work the lock, the door was forced open slamming her body head first against the built in bookcase along the wall.

She was in a dazed confusion on the floor when the rifle fired again. Hearing Taylor scream, she looked forward, locking eyes Keri's lifeless body on the ground through the opening in the desk. Screaming out, "No!" she stood unsteady on her feet and began to plead. "No, please no. Please don't hurt him!"

Seeing the cold darkness in Michael's eyes, she begged again, "Please don't hurt him he's a child…" But the shot rang out, chilling her soul, before he turned the gun in her direction. She didn't beg for her own life, she didn't want to live. She wanted to die, but before her wish could be granted the evil man was shot down.

She could hear Elliot call out her name, "Casey," as she ran to Taylor. Scooping the little boy's lifeless blood covered body up in her arms, holding him tight to her heart, praying for a miracle to bring him back.

No one bothered her. They let her hold the child and cry for what seemed like days, but more than likely it was more like minutes. Finally, she heard Elliot say, "Casey, we are ready…" She knew he meant the crime scene unit. Kissing Taylor's cold forehead, she lay him down, remembering laying him down in his bed at night, when he fell asleep on the sofa for Keri after a night of working on the case.

Standing, Casey turned to see Jo in the doorway and Elliot at her side, beyond them stood numerous police officers, and people of the District Attorney's office. She suddenly snapped, "You said you'd protect us! Instead, you let them die! How could I protect them on my own! Where the fuck were you! You saw and did nothing Elliot!"

She was on him, hitting him, when had she crossed the room, she didn't know, all she cared about was screaming at her best friend. "This is your fault, you let them die. Why did you save me? Why didn't you let me die?"

It was Jo and Liz that pulled her off of Elliot. The EMT's quickly administering a sedative to help calm her. All she could do was sit silently, and tell the officers what had happened as she watched them bag Taylor, Keri and Michael's bodies. Everything seemed to be a haze as they finally took her to the hospital where she was informed that she'd suffered a concussion. The worst of her injuries were minimal in comparison.

Over the course of the next few days, she was told by Cragen that Michael had entered the DA building as a service man to avoid detection. The guns hidden in his truck, so once he was in the garage, he could enter the building without proper search. He had seen Casey enter the back of the building with Keri and Taylor and followed her up. Jo had been shot, but the bullet hadn't broken her vest thankfully, the only victims being Keri, and Taylor. The words did nothing to comfort her.

She found herself in therapy, and living with her mother, Eleanor. Although, by September, she gave up, no amount of therapy or drugs could make her feel better. Elliot kept trying to apologize and even though Casey logically knew it wasn't his fault she could move past their deaths.

Walking up the steps to Arthur Branch's brownstone with her mentor in wake, Casey knocked hesitantly. "Casey," Arthur said happily when he saw her. Liz had given him a heads up, Casey couldn't return to the office yet.

Sitting in his living room, Casey accepted the tea she was offered. Everything still seemed unreal, like the world was a colorless mess she was made to endure. "Casey, Liz already explained you need some time off, do you know how long?"

"No," Casey said weakly.

"Well, I am happy to offer you any length of time you need, so how about you take as long as you need. I am happy to have a job waiting in any unit you desire when you return. It's the least I can offer you." The balding man replied.

"Thank you," she managed.

"Do you know what you will do?" Arthur asked leading the two women from the house.

"I am going to try and find happiness, to try and find a reason worth living again." Casey answered honestly.

Back out on the New York streets, Liz Donnelly pulled Casey into a tight hug, "Casey, I know I shouldn't ask, but I have to know…You aren't going to do something stupid are you?"

Biting her lip, Casey looked honestly, into the older woman's eyes, "My mother left my father before I was born. Novak is her last name, not his. She told me when I was a teenager that she left because he abused her, and she was afraid if she stayed he'd kill us. He never came after her, Liz. She was a successful ballerina and didn't hide, just left him behind in Atlanta and moved here and he never followed. Why did she and I deserve to get away, but Keri and Taylor didn't? Is it because I convinced them to prosecute when I should have let her run?"

"I don't have an answer for that Casey. I'm sorry." Liz replied meekly.

"That's the problem; there isn't any answer to that question. There should be but there isn't. Instead there is just a lack of color here and I need color right now." Casey said turning without another word and walking down the street.

Before she left she told her mother where she was going, up to Vermont to an old family cabin. She made her mother promise to not tell anyone where she was, especially Elliot and Kathy. She loved her friends, but she couldn't have them around until she was better.

"Casey, do you plan to call while you are away, darling?" Eleanor asked watching her daughter pack a backpack.

"No, Mama, I don't. I am sorry. I need to be selfish and work on myself. I promise, I won't do anything stupid. I will come home when I am better." Casey said adding her last item and hugging her mother tightly. "I need this Mama. I will do something stupid if I stay here. I don't want that. I need to go and find beauty and happiness again."

Pushing her daughter back in her arms enough to look into her green eyes, "I can understand that, darling. It wasn't so long ago that I ran here with you in my arms to escape and find happiness. We found it together, and I understand you need to go it alone now, but don't you hesitate to call me if you need me, baby."

"I won't Mama, I love you."

"I love you too, Casey." Eleanor said swaying with her daughter tight in her arms. She had a funny feeling it may be the last time she ever saw her daughter, so she was determined to make the best of it.

Casey made it to Vermont at the start of the fall. Staying in the cabin the first week to properly settle in, Casey decided to take her bike out for a ride one late afternoon. Riding the scenic roads, Casey quickly found herself lost in the beauty of the colorful changing trees. She'd always loved fall, it was her favorite time of year. Riding up to an overlook, she was mesmerized by the beauty and decided to take a picture. Pulling out her cell phone, she saw the picture she'd yet to change, a picture of Taylor, Keri, and her on the Ferris wheel at Coney Island.

Starting to cry at the picture, Casey shoved the offending phone back into her pocket. Turning her bike around, she decided to head back to the cabin and call her mother. Maybe it was a mistake to come here alone. Driving back down the winding road, she could help but think over that day. The gun shot, helping them hide, trying to lock the door. Why had she worried about the toys and not locking the door first? Unable to control her crying, Casey lost control of the bike, quickly spinning and being tossed off smacking her head against a tree, while the bike went in the opposite direction.

Coming to, Casey was dazed, the whole world shifted under her view. Knowing she was in accident, she knew she needed help, but pulling something from her pocket she began to dig. Deeper and deeper until she dropped the object in, and covered it up. Tossing her helmet to the side so she could breathe easier, she climbed out from the tree and bushes, and began to walk.

Where she was going she didn't know…She needed safety, he would hurt them, she needed to be safe…She needed to get away from it all…She needed to be safe again…


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Loving the reviews. This story is pure madness and I love it! I hope you all are still loving it.**

* * *

Alex drove Casey to the location on the road she requested. Climbing out of the car in silence, Alex unbuckled George and followed Casey quietly into the woods. Casey looked around for a moment before pointing and saying, "There."

She followed the redhead she now knew as Casey Novak to the said spot, and watched as she dug up a cell phone. Looking around she saw a motorcycle helmet, picking it up and looking it over Alex felt her heart tighten. The back of the helmet was all beat up, it was amazing Casey had even survived the crash she'd described to Alex.

After Casey had come to in the court house, she told Alex everything, all about the shooting at the DA's office, and having to get away, and about the drive out on the road leading to the crash. Jason had confirmed it all, testifying to his wife and Alex that he knew Casey from New York and they'd at one time attended law school together. The picture George found in his office was of Casey and Jason at graduation from Harvard Law. They'd remained in touch ever since, that is until Casey left town back in October.

Now, Alex, Casey, and George, stood at the sight of her motorcycle accident. Casey walking through the bushes and trees after collecting the cell phone cringed finding her bike, "It's amazing I even survived Alex." Walking up behind the redhead, Alex saw the beat up bike, before turning away and heading back to the Range Rover, Casey following in silence.

Strapping George back into his seat, Alex climbed in and headed home. "So what do we do now, Casey?"

"Do you still want me?" Casey asked quickly before she lost the nerve to ask the question that had been troubling her.

"Absolutely." Alex blurted.

"Good," Casey sighed feeling relief fill her again. Taking Alex's hand in her own, Casey continued, "Well I have to go back to New York to assure everyone I am okay. I need to see my mom and apologize to my best friend Elliot. He saved my life and I treated him terribly afterwards."

"Okay," Alex said feeling herself fill with dread. What if Casey never came back?

"Okay, so I will leave tomorrow morning with Jason and head back. Take care of my things and be back by the next weekend." Casey said her voice full of certainty.

"Why'd you bury your cell phone?" Alex asked changing the topic away from Casey leaving.

"It must have been my mind going wonky after the crash. I'd imagine it was the picture." Casey replied.

Reaching the house, they resumed life as if it were normal. Cooking and eating dinner like they normally would, playing with George and Star like normal, bathing and putting George to bed like normal. It was only their love making that night that seemed so desperate, as if it would be the last time they would kiss and touch one another, as if it were the last time they'd feel the other in such an intimate manner. Falling asleep in Alex's arms, Casey promised to come back at the end of the week.

"I love you Casey," Alex whispered as she drifted to sleep.

Listening to Alex's heartbeat, Casey whispered, "I love you too Alex…"

* * *

Arriving back in New York City, Casey found herself feeling right at home. Going immediately to her mother's apartment, Casey was thrilled to find Elliot and Kathy already there. Giving the three of them hugs, Casey started with apologies, "I am so sorry everyone."

"Stop it darling," Eleanor started, "I knew you were fine. I could feel you the whole time."

Kathy laughed, "It was Elliot here that had to go all cops and robbers and travel around randomly looking for you after you didn't come home for Christmas."

"I knew you liked Vermont, funny, I was 20 miles out of your town one day, but no one had seen you." He said.

Hugging Elliot tightly, Casey thanked him. "You are an amazing friend. I am so sorry I blamed you. I wasn't well Elliot."

"I know that Casey," he said, "You never have to worry about that ever."

"Thank you."

Clapping her hands, Eleanor said, "So tell us all about this Alex Cabot."

Casey could feel the giant smile fall over her face at the mention of Alex's name, "Well Mama, I need to ask a favor of you…"

"Yes." Eleanor said knowing the coming question.

"About Nana's diamond ring…" Casey said as the room exploded with cheers.

Later that evening, there was a knock at the door. Every time a visitor came by to say "Welcome back," to Casey, a little part of her hoped she would open it to find Alex. However, this time she was happy to find Liz Donnelly.

Leading Liz outside to the balcony where her mother sat, Casey quickly filled Liz in on the last seven months of her life. By the time she finished, she could tell Liz had a question. "Go ahead and ask Liz, I know that look." Casey said with a smirk taking a sip of her wine.

"So did you find your color?" Liz asked with a raised eyebrow.

Casey smiled wide remembering that conversation that day. "I did, and it's the most gorgeous shade of blue."

"Blue?" Liz and Eleanor asked.

"Yes," Casey said still smiling as she played with the diamond ring on her finger. She'd decided to wear it till she gave it to Alex. "Blue and green to be exact…The blue is Alex's eyes and the green is George's. They are my everything and add all the color I need in this world."

"That's beautiful Casey. I am really happy you finally found happiness. So when do you think they'll move here?" Liz asked.

"Never," Casey laughed.

"What?" Eleanor gasped.

"Mama, Liz, I am moving there. I have no desire to go back to the DA's office. I loved my job, but losing Keri and Taylor like that was just way too much for me. I can't do it again. I love Vermont, and our home there is full of happy memories. We planted a garden a few weeks back, and George has room to run and play with Star, our dog, and Alex's business is there. It's where we are meant to be. It's where my children should grow up. It's where I am meant to be." Casey said.

"Then we are moving baby," Eleanor said kissing her daughter's head.

"What?" Casey said.

"Did you think your Mama was going to let you move off, get married, and have babies, my grandbabies, without me?" Eleanor asked.

"Nope, but I am happy you confirmed that thought. I missed you." Casey said leaning into her mother.

* * *

The first night without Casey was horrible, Alex barely slept a wink. Plus, she'd only gotten to talk to Casey for a short bit before Casey was interrupted by her old mentor Liz Donnelly showing up. In short, Alex missed Casey terribly. She couldn't wait till Friday. Starting the coffee pot and opening the back door, Alex let Star out.

Standing on the back porch shoeless, she took a deep breath to calm her racing heart. She couldn't help but fear Casey being away. She needed her home.

Hearing the coffee pot go off, she walked back inside to pour a cup. Standing in kitchen she listened for George for a minute before heading back out. The sky looked so beautiful, the colors were spread across as if God had taken a paintbrush and swished it back and forth across the sky, then splashed white in for clouds. It made her think of Casey and how much the redhead loved looking up at the morning sky.

"It's beautiful just like you." She heard Casey say. Looking around, Alex spotted her girlfriend standing in the yard to her left side.

"Casey? You were supposed to be back until Friday!" Alex exclaimed running to her.

"I couldn't sleep without you. My mother said she'd take care of the rest of the stuff. I love you Alexandra." Casey said pulling Alex to her to kiss her.

"I love you too, Casey." Alex said between kisses.

Breaking the kiss, Casey dropped to one knee, pulling the ring from her finger. She looked up into Alex's bright blue eyes. "Alexandra Cabot, I have wanted to ask you this for months, but I couldn't till I knew myself again. I know who I am now, and I know without a doubt I can't live without you. Marry me and make me the happiest woman in the world."

"Yes, Casey, yes absolutely, I will marry you." Alex said kissing Casey again. Casey slipped the ring onto Alex's finger and smiled, before kissing Alex softly enjoying the feeling of her lips.

"I love you, Alex."

"I love you too, Casey." Alex replied. "So are we moving to NYC?"

"Nope, we are going to stay right here." Casey said with a smirk.

"We are?"

"Yes, you, me and George." Casey said, the grin on her face growing by the second.

"What?" Alex questioned. The look of certainty in Casey's eyes was unbelievable.

Casey nudged her head towards the porch, "Let's sit and I will tell you all about it." Sitting down next to Alex, Casey began, "So yesterday I worked out a plan with Jason on the flight home. They allow us to keep George, Monday through Friday and we let them take him Friday night through Sunday early evening. Jason's family is extremely wealthy and have planes so it's easy for them to travel between Vermont and NYC. They are going to buy a place here, so George can stay super stable, with minimal traveling. If there is a weekend were we want to do something as a family, we can all do it together or arrange a different trade off in time to make up for it. That is if you and Madeline agree. He is your son, so you get the overall say. Madeline has already agreed."

"She has?" Alex questioned.

"Yes."

"I am game, 100% Casey. Thank you." Alex replied hugging Casey tightly. "Thank you for everything Casey, for loving me, and my son, for making me the happiest woman alive. I love you so much."

"I love you too. Let's get the dog and go inside and celebrate." Casey said with a wink.

Gathering Star and heading back into the house they were greeted by George.

"Cayee!" The little boy cried out running and jumping into Casey's arms.

"George how did you get out of your room?" Casey asked.

"I broked the door." George replied, as Alex held up the broken child handle.

"Silly George," Casey laughed shaking her head, "Guess what?"

"What?" George questioned.

"Mommy and I are getting married." Casey revealed.

"Yay!" George clapped.

Walking to Alex, Casey kissed the blonde, "Rain check?"

"Always." Alex laughed.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I have loved writing this story. Thank you for your amazing support and reviews. I fully intend to finish up Out of the Woods now! I also have a chapter written for my next story as well, so keep an eye out! Thank you again for your support!**

* * *

 **Fifteen years later…**

Casey woke up next to her beautiful wife. Watching Alex sleep was a wonderful thing, and waking her with kisses was even better. Kissing along Alex's jawline as her hand skimmed the blonde's side she heard Alex gasp from the contact.

"Casey, what are you doing," Alex asked in a sleep laced voice.

"Waking my beautiful wife up." Casey laughed into Alex's neck, before working her way down the blondes body.

"Oh…" Alex said as Casey tugged her sleep pants off before moving between her legs. The soft moan that fell from Alex's lips as she flicked her tongue over Alex's clit was enough to make Casey gasp against the blonde. Sucking Alex's clit into her mouth she worked her tongue against it causing Alex to tangle her hands in her hair and pull her closer. It took only minutes to make her come panting Casey's name into room.

Moving back up the blondes body, Casey kissed Alex as she slid two fingers easily into her soaked center causing her to arch up. "Oh god Casey, yes…" Alex gasped into the redhead's mouth. Working her fingers just right, Casey quickly had Alex on the verge of her second orgasm. As it finally tore through Alex, she was nothing but a panting shaking mess in Casey's arms.

"You are so beautiful, Alex" Casey said kissing her wife.

"Strip. My turn." Alex demanded causing Casey to laugh before doing as told.

It took Alex seconds to have Casey over her mouth, moaning at the taste of Casey against her lips and tongue. Casey loved coming this way, and Alex loved watching Casey play with her nipples until the urge to come was to desperate and she had to hold on to the headboard as she rocked her hips against Alex's mouth until she came crying out Alex's name. Flicking her tongue fast over Casey's clit she watched as finally Casey reached that point, grabbing the headboard tight and rolling her hips against Alex's mouth, crying out, "Yes, Alex yes, yes, fuck yes I'm coming…"

Moving out from underneath the redhead, Alex sat up against the headboard and help Casey straddle her lap. Kissing Casey, Alex whispered, "I love you," before slipping two fingers deep in the redhead finding the spot and working it fast and hard. Casey was a panting mess moaning mess, in her arms, until she came. Holding her tight, Alex again, whispered, "I love you, Casey."

"I love you too, Alex." Casey sighed.

The two women eventually made their way to the shower and finally downstairs to start the coffee and oven. Turning on the Christmas tree, Alex laughed, "How long do you think it will take the boys this year to wake up?"

"Hmm, my money is on 10 am." Casey said over the hot cup of coffee.

"I'm betting noon." Alex laughed.

"Is everyone still coming?" Casey asked winding up her favorite ornament. Hearing the 'Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies fill the room, Alex smiled.

"Yes, baby. Kim said she and Melinda would be here with Stella by 2pm, and Amanda and Liv would be here by 3pm with their boys." Alex replied with a yawn pulling Casey into her arms and swaying to the music.

"Merry Christmas Mom and Cay!" George yelled loudly walking downstairs, clearly trying to wake his younger brothers by dramatically jumping from step to step.

"Merry Christmas George!" the couple replied.

Stretching the eighteen year old boy asked, "Coffee?"

"Kitchen kiddo," Casey said grabbing up her cup protectively.

"On it." He laughed swaggering into the kitchen.

Hearing their other boys bedroom door open, the twins emerged. "Merry Christmas," Nolan said lazily walking down the stairs as Taylor walked into the bathroom. "Is breakfast ready?" Nolan asked reaching the living room.

"Nope, your mother and I just got up." Alex said.

"Okay," Nolan replied sitting down on the floor next to the couch.

Casey walked over and tousled his red hair sitting behind him. "I love you, sir grumpy pants." The redhead said laughing at her son.

"I love you too, Mama." Nolan said leaning against her.

Hearing the bathroom door open, Alex and Casey look up to see Taylor start downstairs, singing, "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, the dancing lady is in the air…"

Running to Alex first he gives his mother a big hug, spinning her around in a circle, saying, "Merry Christmas Mom!" before running and jumping onto the couch next to Casey, kissing her cheek saying, "Merry Christmas Mama. Oh, and Merry Christmas Nolan, and George!"

"Merry Christmas Taylor!" They all laugh back.

George takes a seat in his favorite rocking chair next to the fireplace, "Taylor, just to check, you do know those aren't the words to the song right?"

"I took an artistic license George." The fourteen year old boy teased, "I heard Mama playing with her ballerina ornament."

"Well, boys, Merry Christmas," Alex said with a smile sitting next to George.

The family enjoyed the morning, going through Christmas stockings and unwrapping gifts. As the madness of Christmas morning dissipated, George looked at his brothers and nodded. George stood along with Nolan and went to his room, as Taylor stood up, "Mom and Mama, Nolan, George and I got you something special for Christmas this year."

"What?" Casey asked hesitantly. "If all three of you all are in on this it can't be good."

"It is, I promise." Taylor laughed as his brothers walked out of George's room each holding a Boxer puppy.

"Boys, you got us puppies!" Alex exclaimed as Casey's eyes went wide.

"And two of them…" Casey said as the shock began to wear off.

"Well, we knew it had been a few years since Star, but we thought it was time. This house needs a dog." George said.

Casey shook her head as he handed her one and Alex the other. "And two, I hope you boys know that you all will be helping. I still swear Star was one of a kind."

"Mama, I know you didn't handle Star's passing well, but you need a dog." Nolan replied.

"You do baby." Alex said kissing Casey's cheek.

"Thank you boys," Casey said sincerely as the puppy licked her face.

"So what are you going to name them?" Taylor asked excitedly.

"Casey," Alex said grasping her wife's arm, "This is why they are awake to early!"

"You all are so mischievous." Casey laughs at her kids.

"Names!" Taylor cries.

"Fine, fine ruin my closing statement how about it." Casey says in a silly voice to the puppy.

"I like Duchess," Alex says.

"Then you little boy are going to be Duke," Casey laughs, standing and walking to the kitchen continues, "Let me tell you a story about a silly incompetent girl named Lindsey and how your Mommy made her cry when she fired her…"

"What?" Nolan questions as the timer goes off indicating breakfast was ready.

"Follow me to the kitchen and I will tell you all about it." Alex laughs standing and following her wife, "It all happened just after I met your mother…"

"This sounds interesting," George says to his brothers.

Casey paused at the entrance to the kitchen smiling at her beautiful family, "Like all our stories are, but this story is part of the best one, it's how your mother brought color back to my life…"

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for reading!**


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